~ Reflections ~

We all have our lows.. But what keeps us going is our self esteem.. The minute that is lost.. it gets tougher to carry on... alone...

I am very happy.. I feel like standing on the top of a building and screaming my lungs out.. Or some other way I could release all this energy in me.. The energy which has been bottled inside.. Bottled because I don't know how else to express my joy..

Which is worse... Knowing that your friend is upto something but is not telling you... Or that he is confident about your being able to understand the silence :(

We all accept that the politicians in the present system are jerks.. atleast most of them... then why don't we all come together when we have the right to express the power to vote.. Even though this year's voter turnout happens to be better than last time's MCD elections, i still believe 63% is not good enough a figure for a city like Delhi... What will it take to bring people out of their houses and vote, i wonder..

Corollary : More that sound in my head I hear... Greater will be the frequency of blog entries you'll find here :)

Thats it now.. I've heard enough.. It all started long time ago I guess.. I mean this irritating feeling... Obama's becoming a President is an achievement.. because he's a Black.. as if it wouldn't qualify to be an achievement otherwise.. we make it sound as if it isn't his political stand on issues that matters but the colour.. and then we talk about equality blah blah... Today's TOI (front page) said "Two big Hindu leaders under ATS scanners".. as if 2 leaders being under the scanner wouldn't catch your eyeballs... What is it with us.. to associate every issue with caste, colour, religion... I don't know about other countries, but somehow, all of us, I mean us Indians, have a habit to categorize everyone.. and we'd make sure we'll find a reason. We all take pride that we are a nation with so many cultures , castes and religions.. and we all still coexist.. but I sometimes wonder if we really do.. Given the slightest opportunity, we ar

Has it happened that their is a constant voice in your head.. which just doesnt stop... Some call it conscience, some call it sub-sonscious.. some call it your alter ego.. I feel its just our mind playing games.. saying things that we'd probably hesitate saying out aloud.. and the lesser you talk to people, the stronger the voice in your head grows...

Its important to express your opinion.. but its even more important to express it in the correct way and to the right people... Thats my learning for the day !!!

"The age of status quo is dead. In every sphere, people want more than gradual growth. They are looking for radical results. Risk-takers. They want an upheaval. A metamorphosis. They will experiment. " ~ Sanjay Jha Are we ? PS : source of the quote : Why Raj Thackeray Blew It

“There are many things that we would throw away if we were not afraid that others might pick them up.” ~ Oscar Wilde (in The Picture of Dorian Gray ) Dont we wonder about this all the time.. when will it be that I'll make a decision not because someone told me to, but because I wanted to...

"There is a luxury in self reproach. When we blame ourselves we feel that no one else has the right to blame us" ~ Oscar Wilde (in The Picture of Dorian Gray ) I am yet to find an author who is as blatantly honest as Oscar Wilde. Ironically, it is these pieces of truth in his writing that appear to us as satire/wit.

Sannata Sunai Nahin Deta, Aur Hawayen Dikhayi Nahin Deti Socha Hai Kya Kabhi, Hota Hai Yeh Kyun.. These are the lyrics of a song from Rock On! What caught my attention is actually what the lyricist is trying to point out.. It rings a bell when he says that we try and give a name to everything.. even things we cannot see..

By now all of you must have realized what a psychologically demented person i am... here's adding on to the same... A thought recently ran into my mind... that i am very similar to a cupboard... open or closed depending on my moods :) Lets go stepwise.. You need some power (read brain power aka intellect!!) to make me open up, for me to start communicating with you... that's the power needed to open the cupboard.. Next are the many compartments in a cupboard that are present once you open it.. what is immediately visible is the exterior, kept on hangers, what i showcase to the world.. but what is of greater significance is what is hidden in the locked drawers of the cupboard.. like a window to my psyche.. and yes, its not necesssary that the harder you try, greater the success rate of opening up one of the closed drawers, if you push too hard, the lock just might break ;), so beware !! I don't know if this parallel applies to all.. but it definitely holds true for me...

I am jealous of the person i love the most not because he doesnt love me but because someone else gets to love him too...

Khamoshiyaan gungunane lagi.. Tanhaiyaan muskurane lagi..

An article i recently read got me thinking... ( http://www.theamericanscholar.org/su08/elite-deresiewicz.html ) What is it that education gives us.. we all strive for education, good quality education, from premier institutes of the world.. but what do we actually learn.. Hasn't our focus shifted totally, from content to the cover.. from substance to mere brands... isn't that what we are all chasing... Marketing and hard selling seem to have become such an integral part of our life, that we don't 'develop' a liking for anything that is not 'sold' to us... I guess "Beauty lies in substance" belongs to an old school of thought which ceases to exist in today's world... What is worse is our justification for the need of selling.. have we all stopped trusting our sense of judgement.. the judgement of identifying what is right without someone trying to create a bias for something.... What is it that propels this thought.. i am yet to comprehend...

Have you ever felt out of place in a party with your friends... That's just the way i felt today... and in some twisted way, i am resposible for it.. mayeb i didnt make the effort to enjoy myself.... Ironically, all of them enjoyed themselves...

I'd like to thank my stars for the kind of parents i have.. for the freedom they've always given me in deciding.. and showing faith in what i decide... I really don't know whom to thank for the way it is... but who ever it is that i should thank... THANK YOU !!!!

Learnt this today the hard way.. "It takes three years to learn how to use the tongue, but a lifetime to learn where and when to use appropriately."

We only see what we want to see...

I don't know what hurts more... the thought that you deserved better.. or that someone who deserved good things in life didn't get anything at all... I know we all talk about life being fair to all... That we win some and we lose some.. But nothing hurts more than to see that someone less capable has shot ahead of you...

We all talk about brain drain.. it seems to be the socially relevant thing to do.. But if it ccontinues this way, with reservations for different sections of the society, the bright people will definitely have to look out for alternatives universities/locations for education... The industry & the corporate world should take a firm stand on the issue... or they should forever be mum when they discuss availability of skilled manpower...

What is a celebration. Is it the commemoration of a moment YOU wish to treasure, or is it an announcement to the world.

So its elections season again.. And the government has decided to use reservations as the bait this time around.. After the prolonged debate... and public outrage... be it MBBS students and the public.. the government suddenly became silent on the whole issue.. and the people, especially students, became hopeful that there is justice.. there is hope... that equality is not restricted to reservations of seats but is about everyone getting a chance to compete openly, in the circumstances they are, without any external aid... But now that the elections are looming ahead, the government has decided that reservations is the solution... And we are back to trying to seek admission into a prestigious instutute, feeling at a disadvantage....

we danced through the day.. we danced through the night... we were celebrating our love... didnt bother about life..

This song somehow haunts me.. how true.... "pyaar hai ya saja, aai mere dil bata tootata kyon nahi dard ka silsila is pyaar mein hon kaise kaise imntihaan ye pyaar likhe kaisi kaisi dastaan ya rabba de de koi jaan bhi agar dilbar pe ho na, dilbar pe ho na koi asar ho ya rabba de de koi jaan bhi agar dilbar pe ho na, dilbar pe ho na koi asar..." PS: This is from Salaam-e-Ishq.. sung by Kailash Kher...

Ayn Rand said " Every lonliness is a pinnacle" But i believe, every pinnacle is a lonliness... Not because no one wants to be with you, but because you don't want to be with anyone.. We long for company, and shoo people away.... Its as if the more you grow, the lesser you tolerate people... Or maybe i'be just become cynical...

Has it ever happened that you feel scared of being happy... That the joy of the moment, or the mere thought of it, brings with it a fear... I seem to have lost it... or may be mind has just decided to show me the reality...

For the first time today, I felt scared of travelling.. In the National Capital... We all talk about the place becoming a safer city... and i used to believe in the same.. Only till today. For the first time, i had to think a million times before taking a direction... scared that the person sitting next to me will try to abuse me.. For the first time i realised what is meant to psychologically weak.. How everything around you looks harmful... as if everyone is conspiring against you... everything is blown out of size.. gigantic.. Mind.. a funny thing... won't you say !!

As a kid, all of us dream about painting the sky in colours we want to see the world in... Somewhere down the line, we become mature with age (people call it wisdom), and we dont wish the same any more... We stop hoping for any radical changes - see I've said it - I'm refering to it as radical :-) But what is it that stops us from believing that we can change the world.. paint it the way we want to... to dream .. to wish.. Though this song has been written with a different purpose, i dont think anyone from MLTR will punish me for quoting it here... Paint my love You should Paint my love It's the picture of A thousand sunsets It's the freedom of A thousand doves Baby you should Paint my love..

There are predominantly 2 ways people express themselves... Those who are talkative and those who are expressive... In other words, those who use words to express their feelings and those who let their face do the talking... Its debatable which of the 2 ways is a better way of expression.. but we all, subconciouslyuse one of the two... So when we say that someone is being unexpressive, it simply means we don't know what to read.... All of us try to communicate.. its just that each of us have our different ways !!!

You are given a job you don't want to do... democracy isn't what bosses believe in i guess... and then you are goaded for not doing it properly, when someone next to you is doing a miserable job of it... I wonder what is worse... The hope that i'll get praise someday, for doing the job i origionally didnt want to... Or the fact that i'm actually doing what i didn't want to...

Its been a long time since i've blogged... Life's just moving so fast that i don't seem to have the time to sit down and think, much less write about it.. Just thought i'd wish all of you a Happy Diwali !!

I always want the best for myself.. the best clothes, the best food... the best job... But is there an end to the expectations from one self.. Will the hope that it will get better than what it is now ever cease... At a level, satisfaction leads to complacency.. the want for more leads you to the road to perfection.. the ideal..

We all talk about family being the most important part of our lives.. that they are the one aspect of our life that won't change, nor will they vanish.. But i have come to believe that friends are as important, if not more important... I could give you lots of reasons to support my argument, but the only one i will state is that My Friends are the ones I choose to be with... Thank you dear friends.. for putting up with me..

every man has his purpose and the purpose of his life is to find his purpose on this planet but when the purpose of living on this planet is found the whole purpose of life is lost... what a paradox !! Quote : "Only fools dream all day. The smart people dream only at night."

A group of children were playing near two railway tracks, one still in use while the other unused. Only one child played on the unused track, the rest on the operational track. The train is coming, and you are just beside the track interchange. You can make the train change its course to the unused track and save most of the kids. However, that would also mean the lone child playing by the unused track would be sacrificed. Or would you rather let the train go its way? Let's take a pause to think what kind of decision we could make................ Most people might choose to divert the course of the train, and sacrifice only one child. You might think the same way, I guess. Exactly, I thought the same way initially because to save most of the children at the expense of only one child was rational decision most people would make, morally and emotionally. But, have you ever thought that the child choosing to play on the unused track had in fact made the right decision to play at a