~ Reflections ~

The world is a family. Our friends are a part of our family. We create our families.. define them, guard them... create walls, open gates... Whatever the definition or boundary, we revel in our family, with our family... It is often that part of our life which is without inhibitions.. M not saying it is all hunky dory, but it is definitely the better parts of our time on this planet.... But what portion of our waking life do we spend with family, knowing fully well that they provide the most joy ! Oh yes, there is work, and the other regular things we do/must do. There is also that annual vacation to the far west or east that one needs to prioritize...  Despite all these supremely important commitments, do we really even try to make the time ? As time is passing by, and showing up on my head in the form of those wiry white strands, I am increasingly caught with the thought of whether we try enough ?

Most of us in the middle/upper middle class spend what we earn, and maybe, save a little. Working long hours to make ends meet, to make life a little more comfortable is what we strive for. But we don't realize when this strife, becomes a struggle... and ends up hampering our 'life' in total. I've heard so many peers saying life is so stressful.. Little do they realize that it's their work that makes their life feel that way ! I'm not saying work is a joke, and don't take it seriously.  But we need to have as much discipline towards life beyond work. More often than not, family & friends become the collateral damage. Cartoon Credit:  https://www.cartoonstock.com/directory/h/heavy_workload.asp

I scream.. You scream.. And then we tear each other down... or so I feel... So I end up screaming silently...

Often, we take so much for granted... That we have a roof over our head... sufficient money to survive through these trying times... the faculties, mental and physical to execute what we want.... And most importantly (and often the most taken for granted), loving family, friends and well wishers who truly care... who are willing to step up when you are forced to step down... who are willing to lookout for you well being at all times, in your highs and their lows as well !!

Often, I have wondered if being in the company of friends-who-are-family and family-like-friends is overrated. But increasingly, I am beginning to get convinced that 'the pleasure' of being alone is overrated. For the last fortnight, I was looking forward to a weekend alone, trying to get up-to-date with myself. I had convinced myself that I would have fun and enjoy. But life had a different plan. I ended up spending the entire weekend, not being alone, and totally enjoyed the process.  The endless discussions about the useful and the useless events in life, might not have added to my knowledge, but left me with this warm feeling that it is never enough. While having your own space is important, I don't think anything comes close to being able to share, without any inhibitions or worry about opinions. So a big thanks to my Guardian Angel, who chose to spend time with me and give me company all through the weekend  !

We might have millions of people around.. .  Well-wishers who want the best for you..  But finally, our decisions are something  we have to deal with on our own.  Does it mean that we are lonely? Maybe.  But even if you were cushioned in a life full of loving people, these are the battles you have to fight all alone. 

Though I thought I plan my travel fairly well, I am likely to be in mid air on New Year's eve... neither at home with family nor celebrating with friends.. just mid air, peeping out of window at a horizon that always makes me wonder what this universe is truly made of. Maybe it is an appropriate time then, to relook the year gone by, before welcoming the new year, which will hopefully be  welcome change.... pardon me if you find my thoughts more philosophical than usual...  Time might reduce the pain, but the memory remains...  About an year has gone by.... the wound that was fresh, has kind of reduced.. but whoever said one could heal, is all a farce... we just learn to make do with who/what we have with us to the best of our abilities.... but I don't think there is anything called healing... I probably knew all this, but seeing this again in such close quarters kind of refreshed this understanding... Distance makes the heart go stronger Maybe it is too ea

There is a secret joy in helping strangers.... those walking by the street... people fumbling in a market place... or simply some pedestrian trying to cross a road.... I try not to loose such an opportunity....  But truth be told, I have a strong ulterior motive for doing this... It is always, and I mean always, with the hope that,  in case my family and loved ones are having trouble and need help, some stranger will come around and help them out... We can't help everyone, but everyone can help someone. ~ Ronald Reagan

We learn different aspects to different people/moments we come across in life... afterall we are but sponges, who absorb what we come across, both positive and negative... The love for history from a fabulous teacher in school who kept narrating history of the world like small anecdotes she witnessed herself.... The love for reading from a doting grandfather who would mark out snippets in the newspaper for us to read... The fear of traffic defaulters from the accident of a dear friend... The list is endless.... But we somehow ignore the inherent reason we are able to soak all this up... the gene pool and the environment we grew up in, thanks to our family and near and dear....

We all talk about tolerance, towards people, their thoughts, habits... but somehow, tolerance seems to be easier to practise towards strangers than people you love and care about. Tolerance, when it comes to family and friends, is tougher to implement... because one hopes that they see the sense in what you are doing and saying...  This hoping against hope hopen is strenuous, and eats into the relationship... If only we could let go... and let others decide what they want to do, and be okay with the same... If only...

Was recently reading an Article on how tears know no gender... however society has always tried to associate tears as a sign of weakness....  I remember mentioning this in an earlier post , and somehow, the thought evokes the exact same emotions...  I am all for privacy of emotions and especially tears. But that doesn't deny anyone the right to shed a tear.. whether in memory, or in heartbreak... On a different, yet somehow related note, assuming all household face the same music, every house takes a certain effort from all members... expecting one person to manage the show is not only difficult, it is unfair... Having said that, each person has their own way of pitching in, which needn't necessary the way you'd want/like it... Also, more often than not, household chores are on a higher priority for women as compared to men.. so while men seek control elsewhere,  women seek control in household issues... I am not sure who is the controller, and who is being controll

Being responsible for someone is tough, but taking responsibility for someone is, i think, tougher... No wonder so many of us think a million times before taking the leap of starting a family....  But it seems to be a natural step, a kind of progression of life... from being accountable to someone, to being accountable for someone.... one must complete the circle.... And what does it imply if one begins to look forward to it ?

All of us like to feel that we are responsible beings.... responsible about our family, friends... responsible about the work we do.... there are almost infinite facets.... And each, has a unique sense of satisfaction, almost irreplaceable... But what happens when you've bitten more than you can chew... how does one face the consequences.... when you feel you are duty bound and responsible, but all you want to actually do is run away from the scene....  Is this just a moment of weakness or your gut suddenly giving you signs ???

Family to me is not about blood, or just love... Family is about time spent, moments shared, issues discussed....  Participating & contributing in each others lives... Where you are allowed to make fun... but are never ridiculed... Where you might not have the last word on everything, but every word said counts...

We spend a majority of our day at work... come home tired.. and eventually fall asleep... In today's materialistic world, the few precious moments one can spend with their family is at the breakfast/dinner table... You might think that this is an old fashioned thought.. I mean who eats at the dining table nowadays. Isn't it better utilization of time to watch TV side-by-side.. The dining table is the only opportunity for the family to sit together and talk, mostly the mundane activities of the day, and effectively stay in touch with each other. We might be living under the same roof, but may not have a clue about the other persons life.  And so.... I strongly believe that a  Family which eats together, stays together . Which is why the Coca Cola campaign, Khanna to hai bahaana makes good sense to me :)

It suddenly hit me that the year is about to come to an end... This time of the year is normally when I sit down to think what have been the high points and low points of the year.... I don't exactly do this try accounting for the year that has, as usual, zoomed by...  I do this because somewhere, it makes me identify, more clearly the people/things that count to me the most... moments that have clearly left a mark, and are now a part of me...  Almost every year, most of the high points are contributed by my family... close friends... whom we often take for granted the most.. This year has also left a lot to seek... a healthier life for everyone... take a break from work more often... and some growth in work & family... But in the middle of all this.. some highs & some lows... I feel that the year went by fine... And hope that we have even better ones ahead of us...

All of us have small little rituals, that comfortably become a part of our daily lives... And we don't even notice them till they stop... be it a good night kiss, or a meal together.. Actually, I always used to wonder during my childhood why my mother used to try her best that all of us eat dinner together at the dinner table... yes.. dinner table !!! It all sounds like an alien concept, with tight schedules and the television to give us company.. But it all makes sense to me now... through our entire busy day,we are always surrounded by different objects/people... Dinner seems to be the only time when the entire family has the opportunity to sit together.. and talk... discuss the day's events... and other trivial things.... As unimportant and trivial as it may sound, I have come to believe that a family that eats together, stays together !!!

Fear is an important component in life.. The fear of loss... the fear of gain... The fear of being left alone... the fear of being lost in a crowd.. And all it takes is some self-confidence... and your loved ones.... To feel secure again :)