~ Reflections ~

Choosing a life partner is one of the toughest decision one faces. I am not undermining the other decisions one makes which have life changing impact.. but this is the one single decision which often stays with us (for better and for worse) for life. The essential difference is that, unlike in the case of parents, who choose you (and a mostly one way decision), the choice of a partner is an individual decision for which one has complete ownership...  So it is not surprising that a lot of us who linger on with the decision... wavering between indecision towards decision, till you finally call it ! What is the single most important criteria for this decision ? While the cliched answer might be compatibility, this might not be true, atleast in an Indian context, where most marriages are a conclusion of meeting and talking and not much beyond. Compatibility is probably what evolves over time, based on understanding and interpretation. So what exactly is it... After

The whole idea of finding the ideal partner seems to be a lopsided affair, especially in India.  Though times have changed, and thankfully the judgement is not just based on whether the girl is pretty or can cook good food, or sing well.... different things like education, job, upbringing etc are all seen.... it still feels like an audition.... And the most basic aspect is rarely questioned... that the guy comes to see the girl... as if it will be a test for the girl based on her skill set, and the judgement on the boy an be simply based on his demeanor..... I am not saying all arranged marriages (and even love marriages in some cases) are decided like this... the girl IS given the freedom to decide... But I am yet to come across a case where the boy has had to prove his mettle to the girl and her family... I wonder when that will change.....  In these changing times when men and women compete in all spheres including the corporate world, I don't know how long it will