~ Reflections ~

So what is perfect as per you ? Who is a perfect match?  Like everything else in life, there is no since right answer. Infact, more likely than not, every person will have a different answer, a different expectation. So does that make your idea of perfect better than mine ? And what if you are not the perfect one ? Does that make you an unworthy choice ? So is it okay to fight this choice through your life ? Or is it better to make your peace, one way or another ?  This quest for the perfect is not restricted to a life partner.  In our life, most of us seem to be on this quest to create our own perfect, which at times leaves us frustrated. We often forget to look at it in a 'best case scenario' perspective, which stops us from enjoying what we do have. I am not against wanting to seek the perfect in life. But once in a while, step back...  take a pause.... look around at what you already have - people, things, situations... might not help change our idea of perfect, but will de

So where do you spend your 'ME time'.  For most, the answer would be in the bathroom or driving to work. But more often than not, I find intruders in this time... people who disturb us in these rare moments of soliloquy with the mind. Am I selfish in seeking more Me time.. maybe... but this time is also essential for me to remain sane....  Is that so difficult to understand ?

What would you do if you were having sleepless nights? Though night is when sleep should finally got you, it is the middle of the night that the deepest thoughts come alive... And start talking to you... Or confuse you... So how do you make it stop and get back to sleep? Try to count stars? Count backwards from 100 to 1? What really works? Especially when your mind is suddenly buzzing!!!

The last month has seen my life changing in more than one way... all because of the welcoming of a 2+kg globule of mass that has entered our lives....    Were we looking forward to the moment - absolutely, for a while now ! Does it give a sense of elation - sure enough ! But it has also evoked lot of other emotions in the entire family, which I didn't see possible earlier.    We (read:immediate family) have become extra possessive about every moment, and action being taken. Is it a natural reaction.. must be... it's a first for all of us....  The root cause appears to be this sense of belonging of someone who was earlier a part of you. I can safely say that for myself, having harboured (is that even the right term.. or should I say anchored !) the baby in me for 8+ months. But it is more than that. It is not just about the organic matter.. I guess it is also about the idea that we have been responsible in creating something (ooops... someone) new, and now have the opportunity

What is fear ? What one feels when faced with a tough situation.. maybe... But more often than not, it appears to be the reaction of the people around you to the current situation..  Often, even if your heart doesn't start palpitating at double speed in a situation, if your friends or loved ones have a drastic reaction, your heart suddenly starts to flutter.. To be fair, it is difficult to look at a situation being faced with detachment or without reaction.. after all that's what family is about.... But wouldn't it be better of we don't make our fears become the other person's fears... Is it not better if each person learns for themselves ?

Most of us are alive most of the time, and honest  (read without any masks) some of the times.. This 'honest' self is often seen only by a chosen few friends/family/spouse, and sometimes to our selves.. Being honest not just means accepting one as they are, but being able to express oneself in true nature, without having to soften the emotion or blow... But what would you do when this true expression ends up violating someone else's space.. What then ? Is your being honest and expressive a sufficient explanation ? Recently watched the movie Thappad , a movie directed by Anubhav Sinha . While I could go on and on about the brilliant performance by not just Kumud Mishra , Taapsee Pannu , Ratna Pathak but by the multiple stars like Naila Grewal , Geetika Vidya Ohlyan and Dia Mirza who have each excelled in their parts in the restricted screen time of just about 10 - 20 minutes.  While Thappad might be called a feminist interpretation of what we face in our day to day lives

Cool breeze... Calming silence... Background chorus of chirping birds.... Myriad thoughts... Wandering birds... spotted for the first time... Random thoughts... Circling the mind... I know this silence must end... But I think it is not just nature which needed this reset...

Life seems to have come to a standstill.. or is it the reverse ? An external virus has now ensured that we all stay indoors, and spend more time doing things which we haven't done in the past few decades. While the initial day or two took some adjustment (!?!) to be able to spend more time with our families, ourselves, most of us have now come around the corner have started establishing a schedule around it. To think it took a virus to halt the circus, and ease out the pace... make people do things they haven't dreamt of in the past.. come to terms and appreciate what others have been doing for them, day-in day-out.... hmmm.... While I know the economy is going to suffer and there are lots of issues being faced by different parts of the society, I wonder if this standstill was required, just for us to understand what we are doing with are lives and to introspect if it is all worthwhile !!! PS:  A big salute and standing ovation to all the doctors, pol

Change is a funny thing.. We realize that life cannot be static - that change is inevitable. Yet, when change actually hits you, you are often caught flummoxed. So how does one react when there is more than one change hitting you... as if suddenly, your mind is the only stationary thing, and all else seems to be in motion. The adjustment of the mind is probably the toughest... adjustment not to The change, but the idea that it is all changing, and will probably change into something totally new !

Every person has a purpose of life. Some recognize the purpose and try to make the most of the opportunity life has presented them with, while some simply fulfill the purpose during the course of their life, without the complete realization of having done it. But every person in our life also has a purpose and meaning, just the way we have a purpose in someone else's life... Often, we don't dwell into the reasons, but more often than not, each person ends up teaching us something about ourselves or the world or life, or maybe they are there just to give us company when we are low....  The intent is not to say that we should rubbish the people in our life, whom we deem have no purpose for us. But that, without realizing, each person has their own purpose... Not just in their own lives, but in our life too... Long story short, every person has their own journeys to chart, but they all have a role in your tiny journey too !

There is nothing as poetic and romantic as unfulfilled unrequited love... Or maybe the idea that someone is still trying to pursue someone, despite knowing that it is probably unattainable... Or is it just the chase.. I guess anything that has been attained looses its charm... Or maybe we work really hard when something is out of reach,  and eventually take it for granted when we have it...

We often say and believe, that we do things that appeal us (read our senses), and more often than not, our eyes. While I was already in disagreement with this philosophy of pleasing the eyes, being choosing partners basis appearance or judging your colleagues basis the way they dress, the latest trend is even more distasteful. Thanks to the advent of smartphones, I find that everything in life seems to revolve around how it can be captured 'beautifully' on the camera.  Don't get me wrong, I am all for photography and capture some priceless moments. But this urge of everyone to capture everything since they now have easy access to a camera on their phone has started to tick me off. This urge to click seems to be irrespective of whether it is a party or a pious moment, or just an emotional ordeal ! And due to this urge, things and moments are arranged to make them look 'more appealing' in a photograph.. without realizing that they are losing the spontane

What would you do when you randomly decide to bunk office... not because of an urge to rest or complete some pending work... but simply to do what YOU feel like... In our races against time, to complete the chores at hand, be it home or office, we often sideline these random wishes... after all they seem to random and trivial to pay heed to... And even if we do succumb, we end up feeling guilty to have 'wasted' those precious hours on some of our whims instead completing the work at hand. But once in a while, it is important to let go off this obsession about 'constructive' utilization of time, and not measure everything under the parameter of productivity of work. We need to understand that such breaks of routine are required to keep the mind working and happy. So the next time you have an urge to watch a movie alone, or taste something haven't tasted in ages right in the middle of the day, don't try to push the urge in the background and succumb to

Choosing a life partner is one of the toughest decision one faces. I am not undermining the other decisions one makes which have life changing impact.. but this is the one single decision which often stays with us (for better and for worse) for life. The essential difference is that, unlike in the case of parents, who choose you (and a mostly one way decision), the choice of a partner is an individual decision for which one has complete ownership...  So it is not surprising that a lot of us who linger on with the decision... wavering between indecision towards decision, till you finally call it ! What is the single most important criteria for this decision ? While the cliched answer might be compatibility, this might not be true, atleast in an Indian context, where most marriages are a conclusion of meeting and talking and not much beyond. Compatibility is probably what evolves over time, based on understanding and interpretation. So what exactly is it... After

Most of us are born hoarders.  We like to accumulate things, memories and thoughts.. more things, memories and more thoughts... Sometimes for that odd day where we might be left in the lurch.. sometimes for the bright day when we wish to celebrate..... or sometimes, just to relive what we've felt earlier... Whatever the excuse we might choose, the bottomline remains unchanged. So when I read this Article titles The Things One Leaves Behind by Sandip Roy , I was reminded once again how important it is to de-clutter, not just our cupboards and shelves but also our minds and bodies. We often harp so much on externalities that we miss what we actually Want and Need. So open your cupboards and minds (which are just like cupboards) , and spend sometime to get rid of what is truly unused or not needed, give it to someone who will find more utility...  Apply the same theory with the body and mind, and attempt to de-clutter, and get rid of unnecessary thoughts and f

I know we (I mean women) keep harping about the lack of gender equality in the society, especially when it comes to the mundane tasks of running a household (which is often the biggest source of angst for a blissfully single person just married) . Most women in the current (Indian) society atleast are hard wired to pick up such responsibilities. Having said that, I've met lots of men who are willing to help, and want to take that step. They often don't venture offering help not because they don't want to, but because they are worried that they might ultimately (still) be reprimanded by their partner for not doing it right. Please note, not doing it right in this context is simply, not doing it my way ! Long story short, it is not just about your partner taking the initiative to do the chores, but also you letting the person do it the way they know best. Yes, it might be a messy affair the initial few times. But do remember the first time you did it on your o

While I can't claim to be a connoisseur of paintings and art in general, I can safely say good art has always piqued my interest. Since schooling was in an era devoid of what we now call Internet, a lot of it was what had been described in the books one read. The only other way to get the experience was to visit museums and be enthralled by this totally different take on the world around, often not in a very direct or real way, but could lead one into realms of imagination which was normally difficult to find. Having said that, I safely steer clear from conversation of Cubism - Renaissance etc simply because I've never 'studied' these subjects.  Growing up in Delhi provided the advantage of being able to frequent places like The National Gallery for Modern Art , National Museum and Mandi House area, exposing me to an amazing collection (often underrated), becoming a regular go-to place during college. The likes of Raja Ravi Varma , S H Raza , Biren De have alway

So what do you look for in your partner - Someone who can keep the house together ?  Someone who manages to keep all your relationships - family and friends (as water is often purer than blood) ? While it might not be an either or  kind of choice, the dexterity with which one is achieved often impacts the efficiency in the other aspect. The decision might also depend on how complimentary the skill is with one self, as merely supplementary skills might not suffice. Can't we find someone who is good at both - appears tough. It's like trying to seek the perfect partner, a search which might not have any result :D But then again, what IS more important to you ? Can there even be a preference ? 12-Nov-19

Often, I have wondered if being in the company of friends-who-are-family and family-like-friends is overrated. But increasingly, I am beginning to get convinced that 'the pleasure' of being alone is overrated. For the last fortnight, I was looking forward to a weekend alone, trying to get up-to-date with myself. I had convinced myself that I would have fun and enjoy. But life had a different plan. I ended up spending the entire weekend, not being alone, and totally enjoyed the process.  The endless discussions about the useful and the useless events in life, might not have added to my knowledge, but left me with this warm feeling that it is never enough. While having your own space is important, I don't think anything comes close to being able to share, without any inhibitions or worry about opinions. So a big thanks to my Guardian Angel, who chose to spend time with me and give me company all through the weekend  !

After all the fuss around Women's Day, Men's Day seems to be the flavour of the season. While there seem to be different aspects both these phenomenon's seem to be talking about... but the crux of all the communication around them talks about one thing. Avoid Stereotyping ! Yes, be it man or wo-man, these is no single box that can be assigned to men - only or women - only. Each have their own characteristics, some unique, some similar... The strength of the person is not in whether they are driven by estrogen or testosterone.. it is the unique 'combination' of their characteristics that makes them strong.