Anger & Entitlement

For most of us, a bout of anger can happen often - with or without visible reason - depending on what our mind/subconscious is saying to us. To the recipient of the harsh words, it may feel uncalled for. But irrespective of the cause, the impact is sobering of mood, dulling of enthusiasm, and a feeling of distaste (even if temporary).

But what/where does anger stem from? The more you mull over this question, the more answers you'll find. The most common reasons are ofcourse dissatisfaction, discontent, a feeling of disparity (notice how all the common causes start with dis-).

But I'd like to dwell on two causes I've noticed, which are often not highlighted, maybe because we choose not to dwell so deep. The first being guilt and the second being a sense of entitlement.

Anger stemming from guilt is easy to identify, especially in the corporate world. Lots of folks use the technique of offense is the best defense when it is actually their work that is lacking. Aggression seems to be a convenient response to cover up for things they should've done. Ironically, it often leaves the person who has done most of the work feeling guilty for not meeting the expectations, though that might not be the case. This is also a vicious cycle, since the guilty often ends up venting on someone else !

However, anger stemming from a sense of entitlement is the most common reason, yet the least perceived one. The root cause of why we become angry with a person/situation is because we expect something different. something more.. as if we are entitled to what we had  expected.. that we have been cheated by not getting what we are entitled to.... 

But till this point, it is still an internal battle of thoughts... what makes it worse is that we mistake ourselves into thinking we are entitled to feel angry at someone, and effectively use the body language/words that we choose to express this anger. 

What makes us assumes that it is ok to be the aggressor ?

If we had not assumed this entitlement, a lot of our behaviour - towards ourselves and others  - would change.