~ Reflections ~

The festival of lights (and dreams) recently went by. Most of us were busy buying clothes, cleaning up, shining our pots, cooking the annual delicacies (read sweets and savories). These annual activities are something most staying in India will relate to. As one grows up (read starts to grey), there is a melancholy associated with most of it. What my mother must be making... what we used to do when the children hadn't flown out of the nest... this time of the year makes us relive all the fun and joy of this time of the year. To me, this festival is all about cleaning, not just the dust, but trimming my wardrobe and home of things that haven't been used in a while. I feel it is important to trim down what one has to welcome the bounty that awaits ! Happy Deepawali !     

I recently rediscovered Thomas Stearns Eliot a.k.a. TS Eliot . Couldn't resist posting some of the lines, considering the sheer joy in just reading his work, especially Four Quartets .  I can't claim to understand it all, but each line has so many realms it touches, that one could just be reeling with couple of lines a day. My current favourite are the following lines from the first part of the Four Quartets titles Burnt Norton : Time present and time past Are both perhaps present in time future, And time future contained in time past. If all time is eternally present All time is unredeemable. If only we could really understand the depth of time, and utilize it wisely, without repent, we would all be happier people ! 

In some shape or form, most of us (individuals and organizations) are in a quest of wealth creation.. moolah..... all ways and means to build for the future. The future for self, progeny, family, society.. the aspiration could vary, but the underlying theme remains the same. The ones with a small loci start with wealth creation for self, and extend it to our families. The next level think about the near and dear. A few have the vision for creating for the society, strangers.  But the bottomline remains the same. A recent edition of First Principles  by The Ken, which all about the joy of investing in self, provided an interesting perspective to this discussion. But to me, the highlight was the article by Nipun Mehta  really changed my viewpoint on wealth. Needless to say, all of us underestimate the impact we have on each other, if only we choose to think about it.

All of us go through different phases in life. If we really pay attention, each phase is meant to teach us something ... for us to grasp some important nuance of life that we have been missing.  So whether we are ecstatic or down in the dumps, the only consistent thread that binds it all is that there is a reason for the moment to occur in our lives. Oh, I am not a proponent of fate/destiny. But I do strongly believe that we reap as we sow. So when you cast a thought (even in your head), try and step out of your situation and try to gauge the overall impact.... So what is this moment trying to tell me ?

Being a woman is tough.... and I don't mean it in a rudimentary way of a menstural cycle and pregnancy and post partem. I mean the more obvious way of having to deal with a roving eye. I have been raised to be an independent, and (almost!) self sufficient person who can take care of herself come hell or high water ! In all these years in the corporate world an trying to make the workplace a more inclusive place, there is a sixth sense which kicks in when I interact with some people.... and THAT is the one thing that keeps me on my toes ! Am I over-reacting in thinking like this... afterall 21% percent of the workforce comprises of women. We might not be a majority, but it isn't a negligible statistic.  Then what is it that makes the mind cringe on those odd occasions ?  Staying away is not the solution, neither is being overly cautious about it.  What is the solution ? Besides relying on the sixth sense, which suddenly just steps up in sticky situation :)

I love the chirping of birds...  there is something in it gives me a great sense of comfort and calms me ! Humans communicating is a whole different thing :) All of us communicate to convey our basic needs, as that's an instinctive response. But how many of us truly discuss and communicate, especially as we grow up and start our own families.  We set aside time for everything - food, exercise, study/reading. But how many of us spend time actually talking.  I am not one to gossip, but over time I have realized that the one thing I miss the most is Talking! Not about what to eat and where to go, but just talking . If you are wondering what talking implies outside of these subjects, you are clearly in the same boat ! We all have our schedules for work and entertainment, and the day just zooms by without our realizing. Despite living under the same roof, there are often days & weeks when we don't end up talking .  Give it some thought. Maybe you'll have some ideas ! ...

What is music to my ears, sounds like noise to you... Often words fall on your ears and just bounce off without any recollection... Is it lack of interest or lack of memory ?  Or just sheer convenience ! zzzzzz   

For most of us, a bout of anger can happen often - with or without visible reason -  depending on what our mind/subconscious is saying to us. To the recipient of the harsh words, it may feel uncalled for. But irrespective of the cause, the impact is sobering of mood, dulling of enthusiasm, and a feeling of distaste (even if temporary). But what/where does anger stem from? The more you mull over this question, the more answers you'll find. The most common reasons are ofcourse dissatisfaction, discontent, a feeling of disparity (notice how all the common causes start with dis-). But I'd like to dwell on two causes I've noticed, which are often not highlighted, maybe because we choose not to dwell so deep. The first being guilt and the second being a sense of entitlement. Anger stemming from guilt is easy to identify, especially in the corporate world. Lots of folks use the technique of offense is the best defense  when it is actually their work that is lacking. Aggression se...

Faith/Belief, to me, has a very different meaning, which I don't mix with religion. By an average standard, most would call me an atheist, which I strongly disagree with. Faith is sacrosanct, simple. and in one. It doesn't need any beautification. grandiose or marketing/selling to make anyone believe or prove its worth. This understanding hit me even harder when I was recently invited to a Bhagwath Gita paath (पाठ) by Jaya Kishoriji  . This was my first to such an event, and oh. what an eye opener it was. I was later made to understand that this was the norm across venues, which further made me question what we are all moving towards. As against my assumption that such an event would be organized in a temple or a similar simplistic venue, the event was organized in a huge banquet hall which was grander than any of the wedding halls I've been too. The grandeur of the hall, the importance to the food served before and after the daily session (which I believe should have been ...

There is a grace in a withering yellow leaf,  floating in the breeze before it falls on the ground... Alas, all things come to an end,  And this does too... It is on us to decide what we choose. A graceful exit as we wither and float, till we finally land on the ground, lifeless, yet free..

I am very bad it buying gifts.  I mean, I can always buy something for someone, a casual chocolate, an ice cream.. you get the drift... But the minute it comes to getting something in a box for someone, I often freeze... So when I finally thought I should splurge a little on a gift, and finally found a gadget (read: a gift that finally comes in a box)  that would be used, I went ahead and bought it. Ironically, the part I missed was whether it was needed... so in my misguided thrill for finally finding something that would be used, I forgot the other important aspect of a gift ! And so, now, the box is wistfully staring at me, as I stare back... hoping that the beneficiary (not that the person thinks he is benefitting from it)  would finally unbox it ! I know I am making too much of a small thing, but to understand the joy of finally finding something, you need to watch Shall we Dance?    

It's that time of the year when one looks back at the year gone by, trying to delve on the good, the better and the best parts of it... wondering whether it could've packed more !  A consistent realization this time every year is the thought that time just flies by.. swiftly... often without as much as a whisper... which leaves me wishing that I'd done more in the year... This is also the time to think about what one would want to accomplish (not exactly a bucket-list, but even that isn't a bad idea) with the time at hand. So while I resolve to make my life better, by not trying to solve everything for everyone (read interfere in everything) , but instead just being there (at hearing distance :D), I hope I end up making room for other people and things in my life as well. I know the next year will be bigger and better. So cheers to the year that zoomed past, and to the one around the corner. Hoping it would bring good times for everyone. Happy New Year !!!!

Two people in a relationship (be it a marriage, live-in, or whatever name one would like to term the co-dependency) look for a kind of compatibility. For some physical compatibility is a bigger criteria, and for some, mental/emotional compatibility... Whatever the criteria, the success of any relationship, be it a contractually bound marriage, a commitment made or a simple business partnership, is dependent on being able to accept and adjust to the others compatibility.. The irony is that all these directly and indirectly impact our ecosystem as well.... So what should be the checklist before getting into any relationship ?  Can there even be a checklist ? In all these years, I have come to believe that each one of us have our own priorities, and hence our own checklists (or atleast strike lists).. It would be interesting to jot it down just to understand one self... What say ! Cartoon Credit: https://www.cartoonstock.com/directory/c/compatible.asp?expanded=CC147237

Life is funny.. It shows you different ways from different people,  different hues....  some resonating with us and some in dissonance.... But what we actually see is often our own fears, our own guilt.. So how we respond to such situations is what we choose to see.... Good... Bad... or Ugly !  

If I was being honest, I'd have to be admit that I am facing a midlife crisis... I mean what is with all my muscles telling me that they need some extra stretching, and my spine giving me subtle indications that its time to start exercising.. my mind continuously second guessing all decisions at work and home... or my belly which has suddenly chosen to appear after 40 year.... Sigh !!!  Infact midlife would be an inaccurate description... this is probably 2/3rd of my life gone by.. in a swoosh.... Recently, I managed to do a vacation (finally!) with my college friends.. and what struck us was that the theme appears to be common... parents at a stage where health is a concern... our lives at a stage where we are getting wake up calls.. children growing up in a world of technology and often a sense of entitlement.... and all of us just reliving our yesteryears....  Is this just a phase where my mind is freaking out... I hope so :) But I need to rein in all my thoughts, and take ...

What is it that makes home feel like home? That makes one come back to it ? I know there are some physical aspects in a house that make it home ..  But IT IS finally, the people who make a house feel like home... People who talk, communicate, are frank with each other...infact I think each person has their own wish list... For someone who likes the banter at home, I've suddenly started to despise OTT and all devices even more... Nowadays. I often walk into a house where each person is attached (read: glued) to their own respective devices...grrrrrr..... I find that my home is missing ?!? Radio silence ....

We have a help who takes care of our Tiny Human in our absence (albeit when we are doing more important things like running in the corporate rat race). It recently occurred to us that she actually has a child of a similar age who she leaves behind at home just to help us run our race. The irony of the situation still makes me wonder. The rat race is keeping us away from taking direct care of the child, but is enabling us to pay someone to do the same on our behalf. Ofcourse that is forcing her to stay away from her our child and being the direct care giver !!!  Strange are the ways of life !

There is a lot said of a House & a Home.. what must be and shouldn't be... But it is as much our choices in life, as much as what we keep at home.. कैसा हो घर का वास्तु  ~ स्वर्गीय अटल बिहारी वाजपेयी घर चाहे कैसा भी हो.. उसके एक कोने में.. खुलकर हंसने की जगह रखना.. सूरज कितना भी दूर हो.. उसको घर आने का रास्ता देना.. कभी कभी छत पर चढ़कर.. तारे अवश्य गिनना.. हो सके तो हाथ बढ़ा कर.. चाँद को छूने की कोशिश करना . अगर हो लोगों से मिलना जुलना.. तो घर के पास पड़ोस ज़रूर रखना.. भीगने देना बारिश में.. उछल कूद भी करने देना.. हो सके तो बच्चों को.. एक कागज़ की किश्ती चलाने देना.. कभी हो फुरसत,आसमान भी साफ हो.. तो एक पतंग आसमान में चढ़ाना.. हो सके तो एक छोटा सा पेंच भी लड़ाना.. घर के सामने रखना एक पेड़.. उस पर बैठे पक्षियों की बातें अवश्य  सुनना.. घर चाहे कैसा भी हो..  घर के एक कोने में.. खुलकर हँसने की जगह रखना. चाहे जिधर से गुज़रिये मीठी सी हलचल मचा दिजिये, उम्र का हरेक दौर मज़ेदार है अपनी उम्र का मज़ा लिजिये.   ज़िंदा दिल रहिए जनाब,  ये चेहरे पे उदासी कैसी वक्त तो बीत ह...

Days pass by without realizing what is truly happening around us... Oh yes, we are living in eventful times, with Djokovic equalling Nadal's record, and India winning the U-19 Women's World Cup, and ofcourse Adani pulling back their mammoth FPO... But the intent is to look around and inside, and truly absorb the elements. It is important to pause and collect, in whichever way works for you... Could be a solo holiday, or a simple massage, or just idling around... In essence, just some time to sit back and truly observe ! You'll be amazed at the things that hit you !  

We recently embarked on our first international trip with the Tiny Human (actually not so tiny anymore !)  and we discovered so many things about ourselves. It was a new geography, new food, different people et all, and we were actually wondering how it would pan out. But the realization that... we always underestimate the ability of strangers to empathize and help... a place might be new, but people are to you, as you are to people.. a change of place actually gives your mind a break, even if the daily chores being followed remain the same.... hmmm.... they were all eye openers :) For all the double guessing and fear we had about this sojourn, it turned out fine... Needless to say the Tiny Human was fairly cooperative, atleast as cooperative as a two and a half year old can be... Ofcourse, it did help that the cab driver suddenly played rhymes in the car when he heard him bawl, and the waitress gave a special empty bowl for him to play with once in a while. All in all, a brea...