~ Reflections ~

Two people in a relationship (be it a marriage, live-in, or whatever name one would like to term the co-dependency) look for a kind of compatibility. For some physical compatibility is a bigger criteria, and for some, mental/emotional compatibility... Whatever the criteria, the success of any relationship, be it a contractually bound marriage, a commitment made or a simple business partnership, is dependent on being able to accept and adjust to the others compatibility.. The irony is that all these directly and indirectly impact our ecosystem as well.... So what should be the checklist before getting into any relationship ?  Can there even be a checklist ? In all these years, I have come to believe that each one of us have our own priorities, and hence our own checklists (or atleast strike lists).. It would be interesting to jot it down just to understand one self... What say ! Cartoon Credit: https://www.cartoonstock.com/directory/c/compatible.asp?expanded=CC147237

We try and estimate so many things, and try to peg a value, often just figuratively... in being the best, the worst, the first, the last...  But what we end up doing in the process and peg ourselves and that relationship in our life. It's actually an estimate of ourselves, as we perceive it, in the other eyes of the other person...  How does it matter whether someone values you the most... What matters is how much you value them in the true sense...  Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have!!! 

I scream.. You scream.. And then we tear each other down... or so I feel... So I end up screaming silently...

So what do you look for in your partner - Someone who can keep the house together ?  Someone who manages to keep all your relationships - family and friends (as water is often purer than blood) ? While it might not be an either or  kind of choice, the dexterity with which one is achieved often impacts the efficiency in the other aspect. The decision might also depend on how complimentary the skill is with one self, as merely supplementary skills might not suffice. Can't we find someone who is good at both - appears tough. It's like trying to seek the perfect partner, a search which might not have any result :D But then again, what IS more important to you ? Can there even be a preference ? 12-Nov-19

Distance makes the heart grow stronger... I had heard this line so often, but I always wondered if it was true.... I mean, doesn't all the distance add up into something cynical in that small contraption being carried over shoulders by our necks... I guess we'll have to just wait and watch for the final verdict.... Keeping my fingers crossed...

Our views about life, relationships & people keep changing.... When we start out any relationship, we resolve that we'll accept everyone as they are..... But slowly, we get the itch to change the person....not necessarily to our liking, but towards our ideals..... And then guilt follows, when the realization strikes, that what we had resolved to love, without limits, unchanged, is what we are trying to change, knowingly..... and questioning them all the way..... Now I know what Oscar Wilde meant when he said....  "Women  are meant to be loved, not to be understood."

The confidence of being in control... The satisfaction of being right... The joy of reiteration... The squabble that follows... The pleasure of just kissing and making up... M not sure going through the rigmarole was worth it... Considering there were easier ways of achieving the same end result... Not like I drove home a point either ;))

I give you light..  I show the way.. I support you..  I melt away... Giving... is selfless.... Getting.. is unconditional... And it is equally important to appreciate both.... Afterall, you never know when you are on the other side...

Conversations.. atleast the long ones... always leave me with the longing for more... Needless to say that the realisation of how few of them I've had in the past really gives me a sinking feeling.. of how it will be in the future, when all of us will get busier, trying to fight our way to our professional goals... It all sounds good in books and movies that relationships are a thing of the heart, and they are never lost... blah blah blah... but in reality, it is essential to keep in touch... So here's to all my friends... I hope we all stay in touch... "Someone remembers, someone cares; Your name is whispered in someone’s prayers."

Our life is a summation of the many relationships we create and then forge as per our liking... and they are THE reason most of us enjoy living our lives. But in each phase, we give importance to a different relationship.. our parents are our lives when we are young... we move on to school and friends move into our lives... their relative importance increasing as we move towards adolescence and adulthood... and so at each stage, we have different people by whom we get gravitated.... and its all good, because each of these relationships come of age, and we outgrow them when the time comes... What I'm trying to say, everything has a time, purpose, reason, season... and so does every relationship.... Or am I just looking for a reason to sever my ties with people !! मे मरासिम बनते है , लम्हों मे भला क्या टूटेंगे तू मुझ से बिचादना चाहे तो , दीवार उठा धीरे धीरे ~ ललित कॉल

All of us have a tendency to keep giving justifications.. for what we do, what we don't do, what we should have done etc etc.. Ironically, we give the maximum number of justifications to the ones we love... though these are the people whom we shouldn't be giving explanations to at all ?!? Or is that just a myth ? Like most things in a relationship ;)

तस्वीर बनके राखी थी मैंने अपने खयालो मे सोचा नही था के आपसे कभी मुलाक़ात भी होगी.. आज आपसे मिले .. तो तस्वीर की तकदीर पे तरस आता है ... For those who donot have devnagri script.. tasveer banake rakhi thi maine apne khayalo mae socha nahi tha ke aapse kabhi mulaqaat bhi hogi.. aaj aapse mile.. to tasveer ki taqdeer pe taras aata hai...