~ Reflections ~

Growing up has various signs.. from the way our body changes to how our language evolves...  But the more our language evolves, the lesser we seem to use words effectively. Like Pluto (in Dil Dhadakne Do ) comments on this strange paradox, humans have all the tools to communicate all their thoughts  (clearly and effectively) , they choose to (more often than not) mince words and resort to subtle signs.  Sigh ! How much easier life would've been if we'd use the faculties nature has blessed us with !

The last month has seen my life changing in more than one way... all because of the welcoming of a 2+kg globule of mass that has entered our lives....    Were we looking forward to the moment - absolutely, for a while now ! Does it give a sense of elation - sure enough ! But it has also evoked lot of other emotions in the entire family, which I didn't see possible earlier.    We (read:immediate family) have become extra possessive about every moment, and action being taken. Is it a natural reaction.. must be... it's a first for all of us....  The root cause appears to be this sense of belonging of someone who was earlier a part of you. I can safely say that for myself, having harboured (is that even the right term.. or should I say anchored !) the baby in me for 8+ months. But it is more than that. It is not just about the organic matter.. I guess it is also about the idea that we have been responsible in creating something (ooops... someone) new, and now have...

Choosing a life partner is one of the toughest decision one faces. I am not undermining the other decisions one makes which have life changing impact.. but this is the one single decision which often stays with us (for better and for worse) for life. The essential difference is that, unlike in the case of parents, who choose you (and a mostly one way decision), the choice of a partner is an individual decision for which one has complete ownership...  So it is not surprising that a lot of us who linger on with the decision... wavering between indecision towards decision, till you finally call it ! What is the single most important criteria for this decision ? While the cliched answer might be compatibility, this might not be true, atleast in an Indian context, where most marriages are a conclusion of meeting and talking and not much beyond. Compatibility is probably what evolves over time, based on understanding and interpretation. So what exactly is it... Af...

So what do you look for in your partner - Someone who can keep the house together ?  Someone who manages to keep all your relationships - family and friends (as water is often purer than blood) ? While it might not be an either or  kind of choice, the dexterity with which one is achieved often impacts the efficiency in the other aspect. The decision might also depend on how complimentary the skill is with one self, as merely supplementary skills might not suffice. Can't we find someone who is good at both - appears tough. It's like trying to seek the perfect partner, a search which might not have any result :D But then again, what IS more important to you ? Can there even be a preference ? 12-Nov-19

Everyone (Households and Corporates included) seem to have suddenly taken this appreciation to celebrating Women's Day. Different aspects of equality including load sharing to gender equality seem to be touched on during the discussion and advertisements of the day. I often wonder if celebrating such a day is energy misdirected.. afterall equality and equal rights is not just a celebration for a day. It is something to be understood and absorbed. Needless to say, the trending 'feminist' views seem to push it to the next level..  Somehow, all of sudden, being confident as a woman seems to be equated to no need for marriage... being aware of our rights has translated into sessions about environment in workplace... all of it being discussed with and amongst women. When did being okay with being single become a feminist stand. I'd have understood if the narrative was that marriage is not only about getting someone to manage the house and kids but someone who...

Read this on Facebook recently... Written by Philip John ... It is not the way it is written, but more about what he tried to say that rang a bell.... Alone in the World She writes a poem for her lover. She thinks it is a good poem. When she sends it to her lover he says, “Thank you, it’s nice.” As though she had given him not a poem but a cup of tea. Why, he should be grateful. How many people can say they have lovers who write poems for them? She feels alone in the world of her poem that perhaps only she truly and fully understands. Later that week she discovers her favourite writer is going to be present at a literary festival. Finally, a chance to hear him speak, perhaps even meet him. At the festival she manages to have a word with him while he autographs her book. Many people complained they did not “get” the writer’s last book. But she loved the book and she tells the writer this. “Thank you for writing this book,” she tells him. “When an artist of your caliber writes ...

Marriage seems to be the most talked about thing... especially in an Indian context... It is made to feel that one's life is incomplete without being married.... All through growing up and the 20's, one is reminded about the D day and The choice ... As if this one choice defines our purpose in life... What is most astonishing is the varied explanations given for getting married... from getting married because all your friends have... to getting married to procreate..... Rarely does someone talk about the true reason one might choose... 

The whole idea of finding the ideal partner seems to be a lopsided affair, especially in India.  Though times have changed, and thankfully the judgement is not just based on whether the girl is pretty or can cook good food, or sing well.... different things like education, job, upbringing etc are all seen.... it still feels like an audition.... And the most basic aspect is rarely questioned... that the guy comes to see the girl... as if it will be a test for the girl based on her skill set, and the judgement on the boy an be simply based on his demeanor..... I am not saying all arranged marriages (and even love marriages in some cases) are decided like this... the girl IS given the freedom to decide... But I am yet to come across a case where the boy has had to prove his mettle to the girl and her family... I wonder when that will change.....  In these changing times when men and women compete in all spheres including the corporate world, I don't know how long it...