~ Reflections ~

Everyone (Households and Corporates included) seem to have suddenly taken this appreciation to celebrating Women's Day. Different aspects of equality including load sharing to gender equality seem to be touched on during the discussion and advertisements of the day. I often wonder if celebrating such a day is energy misdirected.. afterall equality and equal rights is not just a celebration for a day. It is something to be understood and absorbed. Needless to say, the trending 'feminist' views seem to push it to the next level..  Somehow, all of sudden, being confident as a woman seems to be equated to no need for marriage... being aware of our rights has translated into sessions about environment in workplace... all of it being discussed with and amongst women. When did being okay with being single become a feminist stand. I'd have understood if the narrative was that marriage is not only about getting someone to manage the house and kids but someone who...

In the Corporate world, I have learnt the hard way that the more you are conscious about your/your team's gender, the more people try and take you for a ride. There is no limit to all the nonsense... You try to be careful, and you are told you are distant... You avoid social gatherings, only to be reprimanded that you are anti social... I am often left wondering if the people would give the same responses if the person on the other side was a male. Conveniently, since a majority of most workplaces are filled with men and sprinkled with women, even a random poll would have unfavourable results. So I have finally concluded that I don't care.. Don't care about what others think.. or what they 'expect' from the girl next door, or rather at the next desk....  Of course I am not worried about intimidating men.  The type of man who will be intimidated by me is exactly the type of man I have no interest in.    ~ Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie 

The whole idea of finding the ideal partner seems to be a lopsided affair, especially in India.  Though times have changed, and thankfully the judgement is not just based on whether the girl is pretty or can cook good food, or sing well.... different things like education, job, upbringing etc are all seen.... it still feels like an audition.... And the most basic aspect is rarely questioned... that the guy comes to see the girl... as if it will be a test for the girl based on her skill set, and the judgement on the boy an be simply based on his demeanor..... I am not saying all arranged marriages (and even love marriages in some cases) are decided like this... the girl IS given the freedom to decide... But I am yet to come across a case where the boy has had to prove his mettle to the girl and her family... I wonder when that will change.....  In these changing times when men and women compete in all spheres including the corporate world, I don't know how long it...

I recently read this article by Gloria Steinem called If Men Could Menstruate. Though I don't entirely agree with all that she says, the nerve she has touched upon is very relevant. We (and it is true for both the East & the West) belong to a male dominated society, where most terms and things, from "mankind" to "manliness" get their term from the male counterpart. Language, unknowingly has a tendency of creating a bias in our minds. Even more ironic is the way the Modi supporters have lashed out at Kavita Krishnan for her showing why she disagrees with the #Selfiewithdaughter movement. Though I don't agree entirely with what she says (yes, again !!), the essence of what she says is spot on...  There are innumerable people, from Sunitha Krishnan  to Malala Yousafzai , who have nearly lost their lives on multiple occasions, fighting for women rights.... but the root cause of the problem is closer home than we realize...  The treatment is ...