24 January, 2020

To meet your match

Choosing a life partner is one of the toughest decision one faces. I am not undermining the other decisions one makes which have life changing impact.. but this is the one single decision which often stays with us (for better and for worse) for life.

The essential difference is that, unlike in the case of parents, who choose you (and a mostly one way decision), the choice of a partner is an individual decision for which one has complete ownership... 

So it is not surprising that a lot of us who linger on with the decision... wavering between indecision towards decision, till you finally call it !

What is the single most important criteria for this decision ?
While the cliched answer might be compatibility, this might not be true, atleast in an Indian context, where most marriages are a conclusion of meeting and talking and not much beyond. Compatibility is probably what evolves over time, based on understanding and interpretation.

So what exactly is it...

After the limited interaction (before and after marriage), we often discover some stuff we like, and realize that the person doesn't have some of the characteristics we don't like.

As odd as it might sound, both these lists are equally important and instrumental in making the decision.


22 January, 2020

A Step towards a Minimal Lifestyle

Most of us are born hoarders. 

We like to accumulate things, memories and thoughts.. more things, memories and more thoughts... Sometimes for that odd day where we might be left in the lurch.. sometimes for the bright day when we wish to celebrate..... or sometimes, just to relive what we've felt earlier...

Whatever the excuse we might choose, the bottomline remains unchanged.

So when I read this Article titles The Things One Leaves Behind by Sandip Roy, I was reminded once again how important it is to de-clutter, not just our cupboards and shelves but also our minds and bodies.

We often harp so much on externalities that we miss what we actually Want and Need.

So open your cupboards and minds (which are just like cupboards), and spend sometime to get rid of what is truly unused or not needed, give it to someone who will find more utility... 
Apply the same theory with the body and mind, and attempt to de-clutter, and get rid of unnecessary thoughts and frivolous sentiments.

A minimal lifestyle doesn't necessary mean being stingy or miserly. It just means that one needs to understand what is neccessary and what is useless... whether it is worthwhile to give it any space (in our home or our mind)....

05 January, 2020

Happy New Year !

Lets welcome the New Year with open arms..
And embrace the new things it brings with it..

there are stars you 
haven't seen
and loves you haven't loved
there's light you haven't felt
and sunrises yet to dawn
there are dreams 
you haven't dreamt
and days you haven't lived
and nights you won't forget
and flowers yet to grow
and there is more to you
that you have yet to 
know.

~ g.c.

27 December, 2019

Gender Equality

I know we (I mean women) keep harping about the lack of gender equality in the society, especially when it comes to the mundane tasks of running a household (which is often the biggest source of angst for a blissfully single person just married).

Most women in the current (Indian) society atleast are hard wired to pick up such responsibilities. Having said that, I've met lots of men who are willing to help, and want to take that step. They often don't venture offering help not because they don't want to, but because they are worried that they might ultimately (still) be reprimanded by their partner for not doing it right.

Please note, not doing it right in this context is simply, not doing it my way !

Long story short, it is not just about your partner taking the initiative to do the chores, but also you letting the person do it the way they know best. Yes, it might be a messy affair the initial few times. But do remember the first time you did it on your own. Needless to say, learning at 30-something is tougher than learning as a child/teenager.

So the next time we talk about work being equally distributed at home, pause for a second to introspect if you are doing your bit... because while one has to learn to do, the other has to learn to let go. And this applies for both male & female.




20 December, 2019

Exploring Art

While I can't claim to be a connoisseur of paintings and art in general, I can safely say good art has always piqued my interest. Since schooling was in an era devoid of what we now call Internet, a lot of it was what had been described in the books one read. The only other way to get the experience was to visit museums and be enthralled by this totally different take on the world around, often not in a very direct or real way, but could lead one into realms of imagination which was normally difficult to find. Having said that, I safely steer clear from conversation of Cubism - Renaissance etc simply because I've never 'studied' these subjects. 

Growing up in Delhi provided the advantage of being able to frequent places like The National Gallery for Modern Art, National Museum and Mandi House area, exposing me to an amazing collection (often underrated), becoming a regular go-to place during college. The likes of Raja Ravi Varma, S H Raza, Biren De have always been a complete treat to the eyes and mind.

Recently, thanks to some downtime, I have started re-exploring some artists, and have added more to the list. While it would be impossible to do justice to the huge variety and range of artists (Indian and International) whose work fascinate me, David Casper Friedrich is another artist who has now been added to my long list.

But what is more important is the conclusion, that thanks to internet and Google, it is very easy to explore art (or for that matter any other field) and cross reference different aspects. It has been a thrilling experience to dwell in the various interpretations of paintings I've been admiring.

I guess a break once in a while does no harm :)

Couldn't resist sharing a painting by David Casper called The Tree of Crows



18 December, 2019

The Right One

So what do you look for in your partner -Someone who can keep the house together ? 
Someone who manages to keep all your relationships - family and friends (as water is often purer than blood) ?

While it might not be an either or  kind of choice, the dexterity with which one is achieved often impacts the efficiency in the other aspect. The decision might also depend on how complimentary the skill is with one self, as merely supplementary skills might not suffice.

Can't we find someone who is good at both - appears tough.
It's like trying to seek the perfect partner, a search which might not have any result :D

But then again, what IS more important to you ? Can there even be a preference ?


12-Nov-19

08 December, 2019

The joy of Company

Often, I have wondered if being in the company of friends-who-are-family and family-like-friends is overrated. But increasingly, I am beginning to get convinced that 'the pleasure' of being alone is overrated.

For the last fortnight, I was looking forward to a weekend alone, trying to get up-to-date with myself. I had convinced myself that I would have fun and enjoy. But life had a different plan. I ended up spending the entire weekend, not being alone, and totally enjoyed the process. 
The endless discussions about the useful and the useless events in life, might not have added to my knowledge, but left me with this warm feeling that it is never enough.

While having your own space is important, I don't think anything comes close to being able to share, without any inhibitions or worry about opinions.

So a big thanks to my Guardian Angel, who chose to spend time with me and give me company all through the weekend  !


26 November, 2019

Stereotyping

After all the fuss around Women's Day, Men's Day seems to be the flavour of the season.
While there seem to be different aspects both these phenomenon's seem to be talking about... but the crux of all the communication around them talks about one thing.

Avoid Stereotyping !

Yes, be it man or wo-man, these is no single box that can be assigned to men - only or women - only. Each have their own characteristics, some unique, some similar...

The strength of the person is not in whether they are driven by estrogen or testosterone.. it is the unique 'combination' of their characteristics that makes them strong.



03 November, 2019

Blank

An empty mind is a devil's workshop...
so what does an empty blogpost signify ?

26 October, 2019

Goof Up

What does one do after you realize you have goofed up....
I am mean after the realization dawns....

Once we get past the moaning and groaning of what a fool we have been not to see this coming... what next.....

Make amends, so that future goof ups are avoided... Done...

Do you then go and inform the other impacted parties about your goof up ? 
Own up the mistake ? I guess one should.. 
And hope that they all forgive and forget... 
So that you are not taunted for the rest of your life about it...