~ Reflections ~

I recently rediscovered Thomas Stearns Eliot a.k.a. TS Eliot . Couldn't resist posting some of the lines, considering the sheer joy in just reading his work, especially Four Quartets .  I can't claim to understand it all, but each line has so many realms it touches, that one could just be reeling with couple of lines a day. My current favourite are the following lines from the first part of the Four Quartets titles Burnt Norton : Time present and time past Are both perhaps present in time future, And time future contained in time past. If all time is eternally present All time is unredeemable. If only we could really understand the depth of time, and utilize it wisely, without repent, we would all be happier people ! 

Days pass by without realizing what is truly happening around us... Oh yes, we are living in eventful times, with Djokovic equalling Nadal's record, and India winning the U-19 Women's World Cup, and ofcourse Adani pulling back their mammoth FPO... But the intent is to look around and inside, and truly absorb the elements. It is important to pause and collect, in whichever way works for you... Could be a solo holiday, or a simple massage, or just idling around... In essence, just some time to sit back and truly observe ! You'll be amazed at the things that hit you !  

The world is a family. Our friends are a part of our family. We create our families.. define them, guard them... create walls, open gates... Whatever the definition or boundary, we revel in our family, with our family... It is often that part of our life which is without inhibitions.. M not saying it is all hunky dory, but it is definitely the better parts of our time on this planet.... But what portion of our waking life do we spend with family, knowing fully well that they provide the most joy ! Oh yes, there is work, and the other regular things we do/must do. There is also that annual vacation to the far west or east that one needs to prioritize...  Despite all these supremely important commitments, do we really even try to make the time ? As time is passing by, and showing up on my head in the form of those wiry white strands, I am increasingly caught with the thought of whether we try enough ?

So where do you spend your 'ME time'.  For most, the answer would be in the bathroom or driving to work. But more often than not, I find intruders in this time... people who disturb us in these rare moments of soliloquy with the mind. Am I selfish in seeking more Me time.. maybe... but this time is also essential for me to remain sane....  Is that so difficult to understand ?

Though I thought I plan my travel fairly well, I am likely to be in mid air on New Year's eve... neither at home with family nor celebrating with friends.. just mid air, peeping out of window at a horizon that always makes me wonder what this universe is truly made of. Maybe it is an appropriate time then, to relook the year gone by, before welcoming the new year, which will hopefully be  welcome change.... pardon me if you find my thoughts more philosophical than usual...  Time might reduce the pain, but the memory remains...  About an year has gone by.... the wound that was fresh, has kind of reduced.. but whoever said one could heal, is all a farce... we just learn to make do with who/what we have with us to the best of our abilities.... but I don't think there is anything called healing... I probably knew all this, but seeing this again in such close quarters kind of refreshed this understanding... Distance makes the heart go stronger Maybe it is ...

Hope is a funny thing... There are times when we don't think or imagine that something will happen... that here might be a change... and then suddenly, there is a flash,,,  All of a sudden, all the variables involved in the equation change... Things appear in a new light... you see people in a new light.... and suddenly, it doesn't seem all that grim... Situations change... and so do people... or atleast our outlook towards them... So do we change with time... or does time change us ?

Zillions of thoughts flying around.. creating the spark needed.. milestones, many, in every direction... several unheeded.... I run, with the hope catch it all And touch whatever I can before my breath runs out Gasping for air, I stop to find... I have missed more than I have found.. And then I sit and wonder if it was all worth it.. and then when my final breath is drawn it comes to me, I nail it... It wasn't to catch or just touch It was all mine to feel.. but I kept running in all sides thinking what is important is the turning wheel !!

While driving, besides following all traffic rules (yaah, that's part of the job !), we rely on the view in front and the rear view mirror to manoeuvre through all the traffic, to reach our destination... sometimes reaching the wrong place, and sometimes slightly late... However, in trying to focus on the rear view for too much, we end up losing sight of what is coming our way... Likewise, not paying any attention to the past, might come and hit you at some point in time.... So it's important to be cognizant of both views, and have a clear destination :)

The more I think about it, the more I am confused... To think that the past doesn't have any bearing on us from the moment it has gone by is foolishness.... And to think that the future is what we need to invest for/in is not prudent either... So how do I balance myself in "that" precarious position.. not whiling away the moment... yet not undermining the importance of the past or the future ...

It suddenly hit me that the year is about to come to an end... This time of the year is normally when I sit down to think what have been the high points and low points of the year.... I don't exactly do this try accounting for the year that has, as usual, zoomed by...  I do this because somewhere, it makes me identify, more clearly the people/things that count to me the most... moments that have clearly left a mark, and are now a part of me...  Almost every year, most of the high points are contributed by my family... close friends... whom we often take for granted the most.. This year has also left a lot to seek... a healthier life for everyone... take a break from work more often... and some growth in work & family... But in the middle of all this.. some highs & some lows... I feel that the year went by fine... And hope that we have even better ones ahead of us...

Found this in a book I just finished reading... says it all... "In the infinity of time, what is the span of human existence..." Photo Credits: My Husband :)

No moment is ordinary... each is unique and non-replacable... Infact, every moment we are spending cribbing, feeling disappointed, fighting over banal issues... we are wasting time on hand.. Life is like a clock moving backwards...  We rarely know when our time will be up...  Only the moments created are an infinite.... 

लोग रंग बदलते है  ज़िन्दगी भी रंग बदलती है इन बदलते रंगों मे कही मेरा रंग भी ना बदल जाए Log rang badalte hai Zindagi bhi rang badalti hai Inn badalte rango mae Kahi mera rang bhi naa badal jaae

We try and make every moment special... By talking, loving, caring... In that every moment is unique.. makes it even more special... So why then, do we seek to make those days (read birthday/anniversary etc) special... I guess we all live life as it comes... so we like to preserve the occasion by making the day memorable... But in our race against time... Aren't we wasting lots of moments that go by, waiting for these special days ?!? PS: My husband has started calling me Sigmund Fraud .. Can't think of a better gift :) I guess that only encourages me to post more of my theories...

the speed of time..  the lethargy of the moment.. the clock ticking by...  yet the moment not letting go...