~ Reflections ~

The last month has seen my life changing in more than one way... all because of the welcoming of a 2+kg globule of mass that has entered our lives....    Were we looking forward to the moment - absolutely, for a while now ! Does it give a sense of elation - sure enough ! But it has also evoked lot of other emotions in the entire family, which I didn't see possible earlier.    We (read:immediate family) have become extra possessive about every moment, and action being taken. Is it a natural reaction.. must be... it's a first for all of us....  The root cause appears to be this sense of belonging of someone who was earlier a part of you. I can safely say that for myself, having harboured (is that even the right term.. or should I say anchored !) the baby in me for 8+ months. But it is more than that. It is not just about the organic matter.. I guess it is also about the idea that we have been responsible in creating something (ooops... someone) new, and now have...

There are moments of doubt we all feel... second thoughts about what to do... There are instants of anger... and often, long spaces of regret... We move along all these emotions, almost daily... Live, to Die another day.... The following lines give good meaning, to going on.. There are stars  you haven't seen  and loves you haven't loved.  There's light you haven't felt  and sunrises yet to dawn.  There are dreams  you haven't dreamt  and days you haven't lived  and nights you won't forget  and flowers yet to grow.  There is more to you  that you have yet to  know. ~ Gaby Comprés

Have you ever encountered someone with a neurological condition in your daily life... It makes me wonder how anyone can cope with something like this... physical disability is one thing.. but mental imbalance due to things beyond your control is scary... My workplace had one such person who is a Schizophrenic, who was recently fired... I have not worked with him ever in close quarters, so I can't say what the "output" of all his work was... but to think that one would suddenly be deemed useless is very scary.. As if to reinforce the emotion, I happened watch Still Alice , an movie nominated for Oscars, for which Julianne Moore, the protagonist, went to win the award for the Best performance for 2014.  It is scary to think that one can slowly (or is it too quickly) lose memories, thoughts, speech and eventually control over our own life... I wouldn't wish a neurological disease on even my worst enemy, leave alone a friend.  But are we doing enough... ...

Dear Mom, I know that you wish the best for me... and you want everything to be perfect.... You keep taking care of me, whether I tell you or I don't... I understand that you want to protect me from all evil, and want the very best for me always..... But the only way I'll learn is if I make my mistakes.... What may not seem perfect to you, maybe okay for me.... and that's how I start to define my own perfect :) So please bear with me, and my impertinence, when at times, I act like I know what I'm doing.... I may not always do what you want me to, but what you say always stays with me.... So cheer up... because there is only one you.... Love you !! PS: If these are sentiments echoed by others and not just me, I guess its a "Mom"thing :) :D

Good food is appetizing... But the best kind of food is which touches all our 5 senses, to make us loose control ;) The intoxicating aroma hits the nose even before our fingers have touched the food that is looking delectable, urging us to quickly bite into it... as we crunch the food down... very few things can arouse similar emotions, all at once :) yes yes... I am a foodie...

Most of us feel guilty once in a while... if not most of the time... It would be interesting to dwell on the reason we feel guilty... If we look beyond what seems like an innocent emotion... we'll find that its a vicious thought our mind propagates in order to calm our conscience.... The inherent nature of the emotion is a cover-up.. and eyewash... for ourselves...