~ Reflections ~

What happens when we fail once..  Do we just give up or try again...  Do we start building walls and fences around us...   And if we are one of the courageous ones top finally tries again, is it ok to make the criterias more stringent, or would you just stick to your belief and trudge ahead...  Don't think there is any right or wrong in this...  No one should judge...  It should finally be each to their own... 

Most of us have had to circle doctors to cure our illnesses... This, in some cases, leads to visits to a hospital and sometimes even surgery. While it is scary to be inside an operation theatre, I realised that sitting on the outside is equally gruelling. Inside an OT, one atleast has a Doctor by their side, who is bound to look out for the welfare of the patient.... But what about the family, which is often left hyperventilating in the waiting rooms filled with others in similar situations. Those few hours of helplessness in the waiting room often have a life long impact, enough to change ones perspective about life !

So what is perfect as per you ? Who is a perfect match?  Like everything else in life, there is no since right answer. Infact, more likely than not, every person will have a different answer, a different expectation. So does that make your idea of perfect better than mine ? And what if you are not the perfect one ? Does that make you an unworthy choice ? So is it okay to fight this choice through your life ? Or is it better to make your peace, one way or another ?  This quest for the perfect is not restricted to a life partner.  In our life, most of us seem to be on this quest to create our own perfect, which at times leaves us frustrated. We often forget to look at it in a 'best case scenario' perspective, which stops us from enjoying what we do have. I am not against wanting to seek the perfect in life. But once in a while, step back...  take a pause.... look around at what you already have - people, things, situations... might not help change our idea of perfect, ...

So where do you spend your 'ME time'.  For most, the answer would be in the bathroom or driving to work. But more often than not, I find intruders in this time... people who disturb us in these rare moments of soliloquy with the mind. Am I selfish in seeking more Me time.. maybe... but this time is also essential for me to remain sane....  Is that so difficult to understand ?

What would you do if you were having sleepless nights? Though night is when sleep should finally got you, it is the middle of the night that the deepest thoughts come alive... And start talking to you... Or confuse you... So how do you make it stop and get back to sleep? Try to count stars? Count backwards from 100 to 1? What really works? Especially when your mind is suddenly buzzing!!!

The last month has seen my life changing in more than one way... all because of the welcoming of a 2+kg globule of mass that has entered our lives....    Were we looking forward to the moment - absolutely, for a while now ! Does it give a sense of elation - sure enough ! But it has also evoked lot of other emotions in the entire family, which I didn't see possible earlier.    We (read:immediate family) have become extra possessive about every moment, and action being taken. Is it a natural reaction.. must be... it's a first for all of us....  The root cause appears to be this sense of belonging of someone who was earlier a part of you. I can safely say that for myself, having harboured (is that even the right term.. or should I say anchored !) the baby in me for 8+ months. But it is more than that. It is not just about the organic matter.. I guess it is also about the idea that we have been responsible in creating something (ooops... someone) new, and now have...

What is fear ? What one feels when faced with a tough situation.. maybe... But more often than not, it appears to be the reaction of the people around you to the current situation..  Often, even if your heart doesn't start palpitating at double speed in a situation, if your friends or loved ones have a drastic reaction, your heart suddenly starts to flutter.. To be fair, it is difficult to look at a situation being faced with detachment or without reaction.. after all that's what family is about.... But wouldn't it be better of we don't make our fears become the other person's fears... Is it not better if each person learns for themselves ?

Life has become a conundrum of sorts... Erratic thoughts Unsettled activities  Distant dreams And hard hitting immediate realities

Most of us are alive most of the time, and honest  (read without any masks) some of the times.. This 'honest' self is often seen only by a chosen few friends/family/spouse, and sometimes to our selves.. Being honest not just means accepting one as they are, but being able to express oneself in true nature, without having to soften the emotion or blow... But what would you do when this true expression ends up violating someone else's space.. What then ? Is your being honest and expressive a sufficient explanation ? Recently watched the movie Thappad , a movie directed by Anubhav Sinha . While I could go on and on about the brilliant performance by not just Kumud Mishra , Taapsee Pannu , Ratna Pathak but by the multiple stars like Naila Grewal , Geetika Vidya Ohlyan and Dia Mirza who have each excelled in their parts in the restricted screen time of just about 10 - 20 minutes.  While Thappad might be called a feminist interpretation of what we face in our day to day lives...

Everyone is talking about Covid, the economic impact (both shot term and long term) and the life changing impact it seems to have on all of us.  Sitting safely in our homes, most of us are as far from reality as one can think. Very few have been able to articulate the situation being faced by individuals who are locked-out (not locked down) by their own states because they were working elsewhere.  Arundhati Roy, in her article in Financial Times , appropriately said,  The Covid crisis is still to come. Or not. We don’t know. If and when it does, we can be sure it will be dealt with, with all the prevailing prejudices of religion, caste and class completely in place.  And that sums up the impact of what this has done to the society at large. While most of us (read netizens) are happily talking about rejuvenation of body, mind and the soul, what we don't understand or appreciate is that we are lucky enough to be able to do so. We are the privileged ...