~ Reflections ~

Conversations.. atleast the long ones... always leave me with the longing for more... Needless to say that the realisation of how few of them I've had in the past really gives me a sinking feeling.. of how it will be in the future, when all of us will get busier, trying to fight our way to our professional goals... It all sounds good in books and movies that relationships are a thing of the heart, and they are never lost... blah blah blah... but in reality, it is essential to keep in touch... So here's to all my friends... I hope we all stay in touch... "Someone remembers, someone cares; Your name is whispered in someone’s prayers."

There is some kind of jinx... I'm not a celebration kind of person... I don't attach too much importance to birthdays etc.... I guess this is life's way of teaching me a lesson... The one time I really felt like celebrating... when I thought I had finally earnt it.. I am unable to... I deserve it !!! Damn !!!

What happens when you are suddenly let down.. not by someone else, but yourself... I'm yet to learn to cope with the feeling.. the sadness... It suddenly makes me feel weak.. or maybe I deserve it.. Maybe I had become overconfident.. and this was just a touch of reality...

This was a friend's gtalk status.... Really liked it.. No one will ever win the battle of the sexes; there's too much fraternizing with the enemy.

I walked in stealthily... tip toed into your life.. your thoughts... your mind.. and now you cannot think beyond me.. live without me... They call me doubt.. I call it insecurity..

Read this somewhere... "Bheegi hui cigarette jal nahi sakti….. Aur yeh tay hai ki meri maut ki taarikh tal nahi sakti...."

Maybe its that time of the year.. or just that I had the time, but i recently rediscovered some of the small joys of life... So I thought I should share some of them.. here goes... Fresh blades of grass on my palm... My fingers moving through running water... The feel of the strawberry seeds while eating it.. The smell of freshly ground coffee.. The intoxicating smell of the first rain beating the soil... We encounter most of these things regularly... but do we ever notice them.... Small joys come, not once in a while.. but quite regularly.. its just that we never recognise them...

Friendship is a funny thing. We put it through all the tests possible... all the fun, the fights.. But the moment you actually realise its importance, is when you are so close to losing it. Thanks for always being here...

I know this not a very origional way of expressing my thoughts, but at this point in time, these seem to be the most appropriate... This song featured in Hazaaron Khwahishae Aisi.. sung by Shubha Mudgal.... Bavra Mann Dekhne Chala Ek Sapna Bavre Se Mann, Ki Dekho Bavri Hain Baatein Bavri Se Dhadkaane Hain, Bavri Hain Saansen Bavre Se Is Jahan Main Bavra Ek Saath Ho Is Sayani Bheed Main Bas Haathon Mein Tera Haath Ho Bavri Si Dhun Ho Koi, Bavra Ek Raag Ho Bavre Se Pair Chahen, Baavron Tarano Ke, Bavre Se Bol Pe Thirakna. Bavra Mann, Dekhne Chala Ek Sapna... Bavra Sa Ho Andhera, Bavri Khamoshiyan Thartharati Low Ho Maddham, Bavri Madhoshiyan Bavra Ek Ghooghta Chahe, Haule Haule Bin Bataye, Bavre Se Mukhde Se Sarakana Bavra Mann, Dekhne Chala Ek Sapna....

I am very happy.. I feel like standing on the top of a building and screaming my lungs out.. Or some other way I could release all this energy in me.. The energy which has been bottled inside.. Bottled because I don't know how else to express my joy..

Which is worse... Knowing that your friend is upto something but is not telling you... Or that he is confident about your being able to understand the silence :(

Corollary : More that sound in my head I hear... Greater will be the frequency of blog entries you'll find here :)

Has it happened that their is a constant voice in your head.. which just doesnt stop... Some call it conscience, some call it sub-sonscious.. some call it your alter ego.. I feel its just our mind playing games.. saying things that we'd probably hesitate saying out aloud.. and the lesser you talk to people, the stronger the voice in your head grows...