~ Reflections ~

What if we could see our future... and experience it... would we then live our present the way we are living it now ? Hopefully then, won't our future change ? So did we even see our future ?  Or was it all an illusion ?

If there is one line from Fight Club that I feel nails the philosophy of life, it is this. All a gun does is focus an explosion in one direction. We think, we think more...we overthink... but more often than not, we don't talk... we bottle it up... All it takes is a trigger... for it to all come tumbling out... and then, we suddenly start saying things......  which... we never would have.. leading to an impact and a recoil... neither of which is desirable.. It's okay to count to 10 and backwards before you start talking... but there has to be a limit to which you keep swallowing your words.

what would you do if a thought is just stuck in your head like a big black stain on a white bedspread the mindspace won't let it go, though the mind is trying the more the effort to let go, the more it seems to spread and become firm. I wonder... How I can destroy the thought without destroying the mind...

Modi's current move of demonetization seems to be the current buzz word wherever we go. India’s PM, Narendra Modi, surprised and even shocked many when he announced that Rs 500 and 1,000 notes would no longer be legal currency. This is some 86% of the entire cash money supply of the country. Without getting into the political aspects (though I am sure that is a significant piece of the move), there seem to be some clear positives in this. Finally, the old cash being hoarded by the infinite households of India have finally seen the light of the day, and in some cases a bank account as well. The sudden purging of currency will bring the terrorist activities to a screeching halt. Suddenly banks are seeing a huge inflow of cash. Banks have cumulatively received around 5.5 Lakh Crore Rupees within one week. However, there appears to be a lot of collateral damage. People are having a tough time accessing their own hard earned money which is lying in bank accounts. Nee...

Every time I feel low or disheartened about the way things are turning out, I find pleasure in this song by Abba.... Somehow it never fails to comfort me and give me hope... I have a dream, a song to sing To help me cope with anything If you see the wonder of a fairy tale You can take the future even if you fail I believe in angels Something good in everything I see I believe in angels When I know the time is right for me I'll cross the stream, I have a dream I have a dream, a fantasy To help me through reality And my destination makes it worth the while Pushing through the darkness still another mile I believe in angels Something good in everything I see I believe in angels When I know the time is right for me I'll cross the stream, I have a dream I'll cross the stream, I have a dream I have a dream, a song to sing To help me cope with anything If you see the wonder of a fairy tale You can take the future even if you fail I believe in angel...

The music fades Glasses clink People hobble around Trying to make conversation Spotted... finally Our eyes meet What glorious dressing I just start to drool All I need to do now Is get to you first Lest, someone will devour you And you won't last I pick up my plate Not wasting time on cutlery My hands enough For you, my dear Biryani !!!!

Recently watched Pink . I could go on and on about how everyone must must watch this movie, especially the current generation. Not to understand what are the do's and don'ts for nightlife for a women in Delhi. But to understand what is perceived, not just by strangers but even our peers. It left one with a numbing feeling that anyone could be trapped in the same way. And ironically one doesn't need to be naive either. Even a all knowing street smart person can get caught.  So what is the solution. Not just to avoid such "accidents" but also how to break the prejudices in peoples minds.  Education, clearly, isn't the answer, since I myself know well educated and groom post graduates suffering the same prejudices. The crux however remains, that each and every human being (not just males but females as well) needs to listen to and understand the meaning of these lines. "ना " सिर्फ़ एक  शब्द  नहीं अपने आप में  एक पूरा वाक्य हैं  ...

you were here with us  and suddenly, we were grappling with different facts that the life you embraced with such joy and simplicity had deserted you somehow you smiled  throughout  whatever came your way in life you maintained your calm through all the pain and strife thoroughly enjoying everything from a Indian team cricket victory to a wedding with you, even a coke and hot chocolate fudge felt like a treat having discussed everything with you from politics to books we are now left wondering if we missed the opportunity to tell you in our lives, what for, you stood though we are left trying to pick up the pieces again we know you'd want us to enjoy life your way so we won't cry or add misery to our life ahead though we will always be wondering how it would've been if you hadn't left

All of us talk about India being a progressive society. That we are catching up the "modern" world.  That women are now treated equally... or atleast will be. It is a good thought to pursue, since India is one of the few nations in the world where we have the existence of a matriarchal society, where the woman of the house has the right to property, money and business. Don't get me wrong, it is not about the money, but more a sense of power and rights, and the notional symbols attached to it by our society. Needless to say, in most cases, the woman is forced to fight for this right, despite being the care giver towards the later parts of life. And again, by woman, I don't necessarily mean daughter... it could well be the daughter-in-law who has been doing what it takes. But what good is all this power, when the same woman is beaten, raped in wide open streets, and then is told that she is at "fault" and is tainted... ironically due a crime committe...

Ever since BJP has come to power in the centre, there seems to be too much discussion by the paparazzi and the Fourth estate about how the decisions are swinging from the center to the right... progressively towards the extreme right. This recent article by Gurcharan Das in The Sunday Times on Patriotism versus Nationalism brings back the same thoughts.  Strangely, if you look at the dictionary meanings to the two words, they seem almost identical... both referring to a patriotic feeling. nationalism. [ˈnaʃ(ə)n(ə)lɪz(ə)m] NOUN 1.patriotic feeling, principles, or efforts. "an early consciousness of nationalism and pride" patriotism. [ˈpeɪtrɪətɪz(ə)m] NOUN 1.the quality of being patriotic; vigorous support for one's country. "a highly decorated officer of unquestionable integrity and patriotism" Then why is it that the media seems to be equating nationalism with jingoism, and patriotism with something more controlled. Both emotions are strong,...

We think a lot... assess... analyse... Try to be logical in our approach towards everything... Because we see great merit in logic... We assume that we need to give everyone an explanation... Even to those who don't deserve one... Is it really needed... Why should I have to explain every action and thought... To justify that there is no malign intended... Somehow acting on things is not as tiring as giving explanations for what has been done...  The only correct actions are those that demand no explanation and no apology.  ~ Red Auerbach

We look ahead in life... we plan for what we want it to be like... In hope that it will all work out... In confidence that we would be able to control the way things pan out... But what we are merely doing is hedging our risks....  Because we don't seem to have control at all...  On when it is time to come... and when it is that you drop dead... So play all you want... Eat what you like... Live the moment... Dance on the streets.... Because you never realize this is the last.... till it is too late..

I aspired for you... I craved for you... I wished you were with me at all times.. to consume... to enjoy.... and now that you are finally here... I wonder there isn't too much of you in my life... From longing... to seeking... to finding.. to experiencing.... too getting fed-up..... I wonder how the whole cycle suddenly turns around and stares you in the face suddenly....

Most people try and explain what life is with expressions, images... but I am yet to come across a more appropriate description... Its actually a part of The Curious Incident of the dog in the Night Time  by Mark Haddon . Prime numbers is what is left when you take all the patterns away. Prime numbers are a lot like life, They are very logical, but you can never work out the rules, even if you spend all your time thinking about this. The most random events seem to occur in our lives... and yet, in retrospect.. it all falls into place... there seems to be a pattern and a reason... except it alludes us in the present.

Everything has a interpretation..  What we do, what we say... And the interpretation is not subject to what one does or days, but what the viewer interprets of the situation.... What adds up to the whole situation is the preconceived notions... So what happens if we get misinterpreted... or lets just say someone provides an alternate interpretation... So how do we say if the water is flowing upstream or is it all downhill from there :)

Hope is a funny thing... There are times when we don't think or imagine that something will happen... that here might be a change... and then suddenly, there is a flash,,,  All of a sudden, all the variables involved in the equation change... Things appear in a new light... you see people in a new light.... and suddenly, it doesn't seem all that grim... Situations change... and so do people... or atleast our outlook towards them... So do we change with time... or does time change us ?

We all like being the front runner... or atleast a part of the action... right in the middle of the hustle bustle... hoping that we wouldn't miss out on anything... That is natural tendency... So when you end up taking the backseat... fading into the background... in view of the bigger picture... it is a tough decision to make... the only hope being this decision will not be in vain, and will not be forgotten... But what hurts the most, is that those who silently fade into the background without making too much of noise, are often forgotten a little too soon... in that they are not given credit for what is due... Though they are not the Hero of the show, they still are as much an essential part of the crew.... If only people would understand that most things are team work... and if someone is able to be a Hero is because someone decided to work in the shadows towards the same thing.

It is difficult to explain... We spend so much time with each other... we are part of each others growing up... We grow up.. get busy... run the rat race... Suddenly, one fine day, we realize that it is not the same... Unsure whether it is people have moved, or whether we have.. whether we disappeared in their daily landscape.. or they did in ours... But this feeling..... this nagging feeling.... hmmmmm.....

Holidays are therapeutic... They calm you down... they ease out the pace of our fast moving life and heart.. and give you time to think and assess, about what we are actually doing with it.. That been said, having the right company is equally important... If my holiday was because I was not satisfied with what I was getting out of life and needed to find an answer, the only company I'd need is myself, with probably a good book or a diary... But the same company could be a recipe for disaster if I was depressed and dissatisfied with the way my life was turning out.. Same person... different hues...

It's a generation disease.. more pertinent to our generation and the next.... our  multiple attempts to replace the human touch with machines.. This is partly caused by our hurried lives... due to which we often loose the plot as to what is the reason we are running this race... but it is also about our superiority complex... from hand drawn rikshaws to cars... hand woven cloth to mills... workers in factories to robots... we call it automation and efficiency... which is true... But is it really effective in all cases... I think this video says it all.... 

Couldn't resist sharing what Barkha Dutt recently said on the National Debate 2016 organized by The Telegraph in Kolkatta on Tolerance and Intolerance. She was spot on... Exactly what I was trying to say in News Today

As children, we epitomize our parents... but at the back of our head we also sort out their habits subconsciously into the ones you wish you'd get, and those you wouldn't want to inculcate. Imagine my surprise when, in a recent discussion with my parents, I realized that I had subconsciously started doing some of the things in exactly the way they do... except, as a kid, I didn't like it... What would you call it then... growing up ? inheritance ?  Or has my memory just dulled and I have chosen the path of convenience over the right one... All of us change with time.. but am wondering if I'll suddenly realize one fine day, that I've turned into a person I don't like ! 

I like travelling... different places... different people... different food :) Actually I revel in it... By places, I don't necessarily mean globetrotting... even different streets of Delhi qualifies... because each nook and corner seems to have a species of homo sapiens specific to that latitude and longitude, with a food specialty too... Chatting up with people is the perfect way to understand their ecosystem, and how they tick... My latest sample space of human curios are Ola/Uber drivers, who seem to belong to varied sects/segments of society, from college students to part time workers to fleet operators.... each of them has a different story to tell... and different side of the coin....

In the last few years, especially the last five years, Media, especially in India, seems to have turned a new leaf. With the availability of 24 X 7 news channels to feed, and 24 pages to print, there is a growing strain on content.  Terms like newsworthy and breaking news have been totally redefined, items and issues are openly plugged, without any scruples. When Gail Wynand openly accepted that he plugged an event or an issue, he was clear it was about circulation and making money. Now, all media personnel seem to have turned into the same Gail, atleast on paper. The other issue, which has become a bigger problem nowadays is the lack of unbiased narrative reporting, as the events panned out. What was earlier restricted to the center-spread of the newspapers (and to add, well modulated by the editors) has now become what is common content. Everyone has an opinion (which they did earlier as well), and are happy to express it on first page and prime-time, where one would h...

We fret over tiny things... we cry over minute issues... And then we face the big one... to realize it was all for nothing.... that all this strife was all for a peaceful life and a dignified death... whatever we might do, we Will end up... in that small piece of land.. 

What is Vertigo ? Fear of Falling ? Then why do we feel it even when the observation tower comes equipped with a sturdy handrail ?  No, vertigo is something other than the fear of falling. It is the voice of the emptiness below us which tempts and lures us, it is the desire to fall, against which, terrified, we defend ourselves. These lines from The Unbearable Lightness of Being by Milan Kundera  ring true to me... There is a thin line between the fear of doing something, and the fear because you realize you have the urge... despite knowing that the end result might not be very good. This is not an argument of the devil and the angel sitting on your shoulders... this is pure impulse... and the fear of the impulse... because suddenly, you face the moment of truth.

Frustration is a frustrating feeling... It sucks you unto a loop of negativity leading to even more negative thoughts.. further leading to an increased dose of frustration.... It is like a maze which you can't exit by finding light at the end of the tunnel... there is no end of the tunnel...  one just has to break a hole through the damn tunnel, and try and feel better about themselves...

We learn different aspects to different people/moments we come across in life... afterall we are but sponges, who absorb what we come across, both positive and negative... The love for history from a fabulous teacher in school who kept narrating history of the world like small anecdotes she witnessed herself.... The love for reading from a doting grandfather who would mark out snippets in the newspaper for us to read... The fear of traffic defaulters from the accident of a dear friend... The list is endless.... But we somehow ignore the inherent reason we are able to soak all this up... the gene pool and the environment we grew up in, thanks to our family and near and dear....

Ok... So the Delhi air still looks quite smoky and polluted. But the one thing no one who has travelled the Delhi roads in the last week will deny... is that irrespective of what impact this odd-even formula has had on the pollution levels, it has definitely made driving on Delhi roads a pleasure again. So for all the critics, presenting to you, the clean.. oops, empty Delhi roads.. Kudos to all the people travelling on the Delhi roads these days... for putting up with the buses, metros, autos, cabs.. whatever it takes.. to make it work !