~ Reflections ~

How do you draw the line between purpose and pleasure...  What if you find pleasure in your purpose... Or better still, purpose in pleasure.. Does that belittle the pleasure or the purpose ?!?

Read this on Facebook recently... Written by Philip John ... It is not the way it is written, but more about what he tried to say that rang a bell.... Alone in the World She writes a poem for her lover. She thinks it is a good poem. When she sends it to her lover he says, “Thank you, it’s nice.” As though she had given him not a poem but a cup of tea. Why, he should be grateful. How many people can say they have lovers who write poems for them? She feels alone in the world of her poem that perhaps only she truly and fully understands. Later that week she discovers her favourite writer is going to be present at a literary festival. Finally, a chance to hear him speak, perhaps even meet him. At the festival she manages to have a word with him while he autographs her book. Many people complained they did not “get” the writer’s last book. But she loved the book and she tells the writer this. “Thank you for writing this book,” she tells him. “When an artist of your caliber writes

We ultimately want the same thing in life...  To be wanted and to have someone we want next to us in our lives.... Through the many changes in life, it is very difficult to say when or how these people keep changing, sometimes bringing back the same old people.... as if nature need one more way to tell us that what goes back comes back ! The tricks our mind plays, directly and subconsciously to be the one, is amazing... and sometimes even amusing.... 2 March 2018

Travelling in public transport makes you realize lots of things... Our faith hangs in balance of thin threads, tempting you to tug at them and then face the repercussion.... We seem observe everything around us, but accept only what suits us... We make a big deal about our privacy, but seem to be okay with attending our personal phone calls loudly in public... Even hard core feminists and so called we-are-all-equal type ladies are the first ones to jump at empty seats, despite lots of people (aged and young) having waited for the same for ages... There seems to be another side as well... like DTC bus drivers applying brakes to wait for a pregnant lady to cross a crowded road... of DMRC employees properly assisting foreigners on which places they shouldn't miss... It appears to be a shallow two faced world, which likes to be taunted and teased... bullied and berated...

I sometimes wish I could live in a silos... Just as a social experiment.. To see if I'd be able to survive.. Manage to stay away from all the people I like and care about...  wonder if we'd live life the same way if we didn't have the social security... Of people we can depend on...  All of us like to think that we are individuals, with our own thoughts, feelings and imagination... But I wonder how long we'd survive without the social net...  In fact even our 'individualistic' thoughts are almost always influenced by our social circle.... Why then, is there so much hue and cry about Individualism.... I am all for independence, but I am not convinced that it necessitates individualistic outlooks... I know all of us like to think that we are individuals, with our own thoughts, feelings and imagination... But I wonder how long we'd survive without the social net...  In fact even our 'individualistic' thoughts are almost always influ

What do you do when you want to break an existing norm, but don't want to hurt the sentiments of someone you care...  Let the person stay under the illusion that you agree with their thought ? Or make you stand clear ?  Where does one draw the line.. will the stance remain eclipsed forever... At one end, in my head, I am quite clear on what I believe.. But at the same time, I don't think I have the courage to take the stand and explain it... Clearly, to be able to pull it off, you need courage or clout !

We often plan something... build it up in our head... And one fine day, we realize, that the outcome has been very different... So were we expecting too much from life... Or is this life's way of showing us who is the boss...

Though I thought I plan my travel fairly well, I am likely to be in mid air on New Year's eve... neither at home with family nor celebrating with friends.. just mid air, peeping out of window at a horizon that always makes me wonder what this universe is truly made of. Maybe it is an appropriate time then, to relook the year gone by, before welcoming the new year, which will hopefully be  welcome change.... pardon me if you find my thoughts more philosophical than usual...  Time might reduce the pain, but the memory remains...  About an year has gone by.... the wound that was fresh, has kind of reduced.. but whoever said one could heal, is all a farce... we just learn to make do with who/what we have with us to the best of our abilities.... but I don't think there is anything called healing... I probably knew all this, but seeing this again in such close quarters kind of refreshed this understanding... Distance makes the heart go stronger Maybe it is too ea

Marriage seems to be the most talked about thing... especially in an Indian context... It is made to feel that one's life is incomplete without being married.... All through growing up and the 20's, one is reminded about the D day and The choice ... As if this one choice defines our purpose in life... What is most astonishing is the varied explanations given for getting married... from getting married because all your friends have... to getting married to procreate..... Rarely does someone talk about the true reason one might choose... 

I have often, and on some days, multiple times in a single day, wondered if it is worth it to "present" the reality in a more palatable form. In our bidding to cushion the blow, or save the day, or sometimes just save ourselves from giving explanations, we invent the truth or maybe window-dress it... without realizing that it will all catch up with us. With an already overburdened brain, one often tends to get lost in the various shades visible and forget what it really looks like, only to get a rude shock when a situation presents itself. Though it might seem tough, and often tedious to deliver the truth, it is definitely easier in the long run, than to keep remembering what one has said so far. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything. ~ Mark Twain

I will drop dead some day... hopefully it won't be long and painful (fingers crossed)..  Can't stake claims on any great achievements, so my send off, obviously will be inline....  I know I'd be missed by my near and dear, but I don't think I'd like a long a dreary ceremony to put me to rest.... I can just be donated in parts or to some medical college in full (if my health permits)... or simply be burnt down to ashes with all that is left put in soil with a nice plant/tree on top.. it feels like a appropriate final destination...  Don't seem to like the idea of flowing down the Ganges, or being washed down the Yamuna.... PS: Don't worry... I am not in a suicidal mode... this is not a death wish... this is just what I ideally want done when I finally kick the bucket...

I think most of you grow up wanting to be good parents.. in effect, we end up parenting not just our children but our siblings, friends, family, and even our parents. Little do we realize that most of these people never signed up/needed someone to parent them. The realization dawned when my mother pointedly mentioned that their holidays are more adventurous and fun when I am not around with them, since there is no one constantly telling her to mind her step, or second guess if she'd be able to climb the mountain. As much as I'd like to deny this, it is probably true. Call it concern, or pure-simple role reversal, we, as children are hard-wired to keep second guessing such things about our parents. Life does come a full circle after all.... From our parents wondering about our well being when we as children sought freedom and adventure, to a complete 180 degree, where we consider ourselves as their care taker, and they seek a new horizon.

We work in groups... teams... And each person wants to add value to the discussion.. to every decision... till there comes a point where the point is lost.. And it all seems in vain... The more people spoke, the closer to consensus every decision came, and the less responsibility anyone had. ~ Terry Pratchett,  Thief of Time

I don't know why I started crying... I worse still, I don't know why the tears aren't stopping...  It's not like I've not endured worse and put up with it.. Or atop that drop from coming out of the corner of my eye.... Maybe the floodgates just got crashed, and now nothing is stopping them... I guess it'll take its time to dry up... But while it lasts, let it all get out... So that nothing remains.. And everything can start afresh.. PS: Bottle up stuff, and the odds are that it'd present itself as anger or tears or both !

I'll not run anyone's life – nor let anyone run mine.  I will not rule nor be ruled.  I will not be a master nor a slave.  I will not sacrifice myself to anyone – nor sacrifice anyone to myself.  ~ Ayn Rand Textbook of Americanism

The recent Dera incident has made one thing very clear. Irrespective of what the underlying issue, be it Rape or simply reservation for few people, our instant reaction is violence and uncontrollable outburst. I am still unable to comprehend how any follower of the "god" men can react in such a way to support a rapist.... I wonder if even one-tenth of them with stand in arms with the one who has been raped. We are just pathetic. But that's not the core issue.... why most of these people have such staunch die-hard followers is because in some other twisted ways, they have worked for the society... be it free hospitals or education or just basic meals.  Don't get me wrong, I absolutely hate the guts of these people who claim to work for the society's betterment and behind curtains commit such sins....  But the point still remains... for someone who can't afford a square meal a day, if someone ensures clean food or proper medication or a roof to stay, t

In this age of impatience and impertinence..  where patience is treated not as a strength but as a weakness,  I find myself wondering  often , again and again , whether it is a good idea to spit out what is exactly on your mind, especially in a fit of rage. But almost always, the realization dawns.. that it is... after all, better to control what comes out of our wagging tongue...  It makes perfect sense to think, and sometimes re-think what one wishes to convey.... I don't mean being secretive and not revealing anything... but the choice of words makes a world of difference... After all, what comes out of our mouth, more often than not, comes and bites us in the ass.... Graphic Credits: Pinterest

The whole idea of finding the ideal partner seems to be a lopsided affair, especially in India.  Though times have changed, and thankfully the judgement is not just based on whether the girl is pretty or can cook good food, or sing well.... different things like education, job, upbringing etc are all seen.... it still feels like an audition.... And the most basic aspect is rarely questioned... that the guy comes to see the girl... as if it will be a test for the girl based on her skill set, and the judgement on the boy an be simply based on his demeanor..... I am not saying all arranged marriages (and even love marriages in some cases) are decided like this... the girl IS given the freedom to decide... But I am yet to come across a case where the boy has had to prove his mettle to the girl and her family... I wonder when that will change.....  In these changing times when men and women compete in all spheres including the corporate world, I don't know how long it will

I know I have harped on this issue one too many times in the past ... but nothing seems to be enough... everyone seems to have such strong and uncompromising views on the issue, that it is difficult to explain your views.... But reading this article  in Livemint really struck a cord... The underlying essence of each and every religion is the same... believe in yourself and have faith in the Almighty (irrespective of how you address your Almighty)  and be an honest person... the rest will just follow.... However, more than half the battles in the world seem to be fought over who the true Almighty is. People tend to associate religion with identity, and hence the lack of a firm choice on the first seems to affect the other. The author Natasha Badhwar  rightly points out "Often a question about identity is spoken as if it is a judgement in itself. Sometimes a question sounds like an accusation. It is fired to prove that any answer you give will be deemed wrong. Others are

We keep playing around with our lives, treating our bodies like some sack that can be punched around... or more appropriately like the hit me toy, which comes back even after suffering a punch... But unfortunately, our body is neither.... its suffers each impact or neglect and non maintenance till it finally gives in... clearly, we indirectly keep inviting what we are not prepared to accept... that there is an end, and it will come soon enough.... So what happens in the end... will we rise up in smoke, or become a part of the earth once again....  What if we have an opportunity to help someone out... is it such a bad idea ? Think about it http://notto.nic.in/