~ Reflections ~

Two people in a relationship (be it a marriage, live-in, or whatever name one would like to term the co-dependency) look for a kind of compatibility. For some physical compatibility is a bigger criteria, and for some, mental/emotional compatibility... Whatever the criteria, the success of any relationship, be it a contractually bound marriage, a commitment made or a simple business partnership, is dependent on being able to accept and adjust to the others compatibility.. The irony is that all these directly and indirectly impact our ecosystem as well.... So what should be the checklist before getting into any relationship ?  Can there even be a checklist ? In all these years, I have come to believe that each one of us have our own priorities, and hence our own checklists (or atleast strike lists).. It would be interesting to jot it down just to understand one self... What say ! Cartoon Credit: https://www.cartoonstock.com/directory/c/compatible.asp?expanded=CC147237

Life is funny.. It shows you different ways from different people,  different hues....  some resonating with us and some in dissonance.... But what we actually see is often our own fears, our own guilt.. So how we respond to such situations is what we choose to see.... Good... Bad... or Ugly !  

If I was being honest, I'd have to be admit that I am facing a midlife crisis... I mean what is with all my muscles telling me that they need some extra stretching, and my spine giving me subtle indications that its time to start exercising.. my mind continuously second guessing all decisions at work and home... or my belly which has suddenly chosen to appear after 40 year.... Sigh !!!  Infact midlife would be an inaccurate description... this is probably 2/3rd of my life gone by.. in a swoosh.... Recently, I managed to do a vacation (finally!) with my college friends.. and what struck us was that the theme appears to be common... parents at a stage where health is a concern... our lives at a stage where we are getting wake up calls.. children growing up in a world of technology and often a sense of entitlement.... and all of us just reliving our yesteryears....  Is this just a phase where my mind is freaking out... I hope so :) But I need to rein in all my thoughts, and take ...

What is it that makes home feel like home? That makes one come back to it ? I know there are some physical aspects in a house that make it home ..  But IT IS finally, the people who make a house feel like home... People who talk, communicate, are frank with each other...infact I think each person has their own wish list... For someone who likes the banter at home, I've suddenly started to despise OTT and all devices even more... Nowadays. I often walk into a house where each person is attached (read: glued) to their own respective devices...grrrrrr..... I find that my home is missing ?!? Radio silence ....

We have a help who takes care of our Tiny Human in our absence (albeit when we are doing more important things like running in the corporate rat race). It recently occurred to us that she actually has a child of a similar age who she leaves behind at home just to help us run our race. The irony of the situation still makes me wonder. The rat race is keeping us away from taking direct care of the child, but is enabling us to pay someone to do the same on our behalf. Ofcourse that is forcing her to stay away from her our child and being the direct care giver !!!  Strange are the ways of life !

There is a lot said of a House & a Home.. what must be and shouldn't be... But it is as much our choices in life, as much as what we keep at home.. कैसा हो घर का वास्तु  ~ स्वर्गीय अटल बिहारी वाजपेयी घर चाहे कैसा भी हो.. उसके एक कोने में.. खुलकर हंसने की जगह रखना.. सूरज कितना भी दूर हो.. उसको घर आने का रास्ता देना.. कभी कभी छत पर चढ़कर.. तारे अवश्य गिनना.. हो सके तो हाथ बढ़ा कर.. चाँद को छूने की कोशिश करना . अगर हो लोगों से मिलना जुलना.. तो घर के पास पड़ोस ज़रूर रखना.. भीगने देना बारिश में.. उछल कूद भी करने देना.. हो सके तो बच्चों को.. एक कागज़ की किश्ती चलाने देना.. कभी हो फुरसत,आसमान भी साफ हो.. तो एक पतंग आसमान में चढ़ाना.. हो सके तो एक छोटा सा पेंच भी लड़ाना.. घर के सामने रखना एक पेड़.. उस पर बैठे पक्षियों की बातें अवश्य  सुनना.. घर चाहे कैसा भी हो..  घर के एक कोने में.. खुलकर हँसने की जगह रखना. चाहे जिधर से गुज़रिये मीठी सी हलचल मचा दिजिये, उम्र का हरेक दौर मज़ेदार है अपनी उम्र का मज़ा लिजिये.   ज़िंदा दिल रहिए जनाब,  ये चेहरे पे उदासी कैसी वक्त तो बीत ह...

Days pass by without realizing what is truly happening around us... Oh yes, we are living in eventful times, with Djokovic equalling Nadal's record, and India winning the U-19 Women's World Cup, and ofcourse Adani pulling back their mammoth FPO... But the intent is to look around and inside, and truly absorb the elements. It is important to pause and collect, in whichever way works for you... Could be a solo holiday, or a simple massage, or just idling around... In essence, just some time to sit back and truly observe ! You'll be amazed at the things that hit you !  

We recently embarked on our first international trip with the Tiny Human (actually not so tiny anymore !)  and we discovered so many things about ourselves. It was a new geography, new food, different people et all, and we were actually wondering how it would pan out. But the realization that... we always underestimate the ability of strangers to empathize and help... a place might be new, but people are to you, as you are to people.. a change of place actually gives your mind a break, even if the daily chores being followed remain the same.... hmmm.... they were all eye openers :) For all the double guessing and fear we had about this sojourn, it turned out fine... Needless to say the Tiny Human was fairly cooperative, atleast as cooperative as a two and a half year old can be... Ofcourse, it did help that the cab driver suddenly played rhymes in the car when he heard him bawl, and the waitress gave a special empty bowl for him to play with once in a while. All in all, a brea...

Whether we talk about the Noah's Ark, Manu & the Matsya avatar or Nuh, the reference to that hope of a saviour when you are flooded is universal.  Ever so often, in life, when we are in a crisis, we tend to look for a saviour/ help... And more often than not, help appears in different shapes and forms, not always in the direction we are looking.  But what is more important is your will to move along, to accept the help being offered and not stay in denial to let 'fate take it's course'.  Fate will, obviously take it's course, but that is subject to the responses we send to the universe.   If Noah was ushering everyone into the boat, and I chose to say that I won't act on this option because I believe in the supreme and will wait for a suitable (read not tough/challenging) option to come my way, that's our action which is finally determining our fate. So keep your eyes and ears open for any such knock at your door... Often, tying our lifeboat to the horn ...

The world is a family. Our friends are a part of our family. We create our families.. define them, guard them... create walls, open gates... Whatever the definition or boundary, we revel in our family, with our family... It is often that part of our life which is without inhibitions.. M not saying it is all hunky dory, but it is definitely the better parts of our time on this planet.... But what portion of our waking life do we spend with family, knowing fully well that they provide the most joy ! Oh yes, there is work, and the other regular things we do/must do. There is also that annual vacation to the far west or east that one needs to prioritize...  Despite all these supremely important commitments, do we really even try to make the time ? As time is passing by, and showing up on my head in the form of those wiry white strands, I am increasingly caught with the thought of whether we try enough ?