~ Reflections ~

This year has been exceptional in more ways than one... That the pandemic hit all of us is just the cause which snowballed into many effects (some drastic) for a lot of us.  To say that I am thankful would be an understatement... thankful that I got rest when I needed it (due to the lockdown), thankful that I've been blessed with my bundle of joy despite all odds, thankful for a lot of things... but most importantly thankful that my near and dear are all fine, emotionally, physically and financially. So here's my takeaway from this year... 1. There is often good in all the negativity that surrounds us . While this might sound like management jargon, it's true. On a personal front, lockdown provided the perfect opportunity to work from home and rest when I could, which really helped. But even in a more general sense, the air became cleaner.. City dwellers could suddenly hear chirping birds and spot stars in a clear (read smokeless) sky.  2. Reinventing oneself takes time an...

One of the most impactful modes of communication for companies is advertisements. In most companies, lots of thought foes into what they wish to convey to their audience. While ads from the likes of Tata Group (read Tata Tea, Titan and Tanishq) have always been a cut above the rest, there are few other brands/companies which have consistently managed to break through the noise to deliver meaningful messages. Take for instance Ghadi Detergent, a brand from RSPL Ltd (a Kanpur based company) which has used the punchline #SaareMaelDhoDaalo to deliver beautiful messages, be it about forgetting old grudges , our prejudices about certain professions , the different hues of a mothers or respecting the people who enable us to accomplish our daily work i.e. domestic helps. Brooke Bond (an HUL brand), has also managed to deliver socially relevant messages through the brilliant campaigns like  #TasteofTogetherness  which has managed to shatter many myths, including the recent ad perta...

I know this subject has been beaten to death everywhere including books... Seize the day, like there is no tomorrow. However, despite these repeated reminders we keep getting from everyone, the point is often lost.. till it hits home.... leaving behind heavy baggage... We often postpone things, thinking we'll find a more opportunities in the future to do the necessary, say the needful... but alas !!

Some of us are wrong all the time, and all of us are wrong sometimes. But that doesn't stop us from stressing over trying to get it all right - to be perfect. Ironically, what we don't realize is that there is no perfect. One can't have it all. Love the advice given by Renuka Shahane  in one of the episodes (S02, E03) of the web-series called What the Folks  by Dice Media . Afterall, no one can have it all !!! Just let the ball drop once in a while.

Have you ever sought validation for your actions and decisions... As a child, the job is done by our parents and siblings, and they seem to be more than happy expressing their opinion. But what happens when one grows up.... Do we still seek validation as adults ? And more importantly, is it a reflection of our self confidence ? Recently, I was told that I still seek validation from some people. While I was initially taken aback by the feedback, I subconsciously knew it was an accurate observation.  Amusing as it sounds, there seem to be a bunch of us who appear confident and self assured, but who often seek validation from their people. Validation when making key decisions reinforces once belief.  But what sets apart the confident from self - doubting person is whether the absence of this hold one back from making the decision/acting in a situation ! 

What happens when we fail once..  Do we just give up or try again...  Do we start building walls and fences around us...   And if we are one of the courageous ones top finally tries again, is it ok to make the criterias more stringent, or would you just stick to your belief and trudge ahead...  Don't think there is any right or wrong in this...  No one should judge...  It should finally be each to their own... 

Most of us have had to circle doctors to cure our illnesses... This, in some cases, leads to visits to a hospital and sometimes even surgery. While it is scary to be inside an operation theatre, I realised that sitting on the outside is equally gruelling. Inside an OT, one atleast has a Doctor by their side, who is bound to look out for the welfare of the patient.... But what about the family, which is often left hyperventilating in the waiting rooms filled with others in similar situations. Those few hours of helplessness in the waiting room often have a life long impact, enough to change ones perspective about life !

So what is perfect as per you ? Who is a perfect match?  Like everything else in life, there is no since right answer. Infact, more likely than not, every person will have a different answer, a different expectation. So does that make your idea of perfect better than mine ? And what if you are not the perfect one ? Does that make you an unworthy choice ? So is it okay to fight this choice through your life ? Or is it better to make your peace, one way or another ?  This quest for the perfect is not restricted to a life partner.  In our life, most of us seem to be on this quest to create our own perfect, which at times leaves us frustrated. We often forget to look at it in a 'best case scenario' perspective, which stops us from enjoying what we do have. I am not against wanting to seek the perfect in life. But once in a while, step back...  take a pause.... look around at what you already have - people, things, situations... might not help change our idea of perfect, ...

So where do you spend your 'ME time'.  For most, the answer would be in the bathroom or driving to work. But more often than not, I find intruders in this time... people who disturb us in these rare moments of soliloquy with the mind. Am I selfish in seeking more Me time.. maybe... but this time is also essential for me to remain sane....  Is that so difficult to understand ?

What would you do if you were having sleepless nights? Though night is when sleep should finally got you, it is the middle of the night that the deepest thoughts come alive... And start talking to you... Or confuse you... So how do you make it stop and get back to sleep? Try to count stars? Count backwards from 100 to 1? What really works? Especially when your mind is suddenly buzzing!!!

The last month has seen my life changing in more than one way... all because of the welcoming of a 2+kg globule of mass that has entered our lives....    Were we looking forward to the moment - absolutely, for a while now ! Does it give a sense of elation - sure enough ! But it has also evoked lot of other emotions in the entire family, which I didn't see possible earlier.    We (read:immediate family) have become extra possessive about every moment, and action being taken. Is it a natural reaction.. must be... it's a first for all of us....  The root cause appears to be this sense of belonging of someone who was earlier a part of you. I can safely say that for myself, having harboured (is that even the right term.. or should I say anchored !) the baby in me for 8+ months. But it is more than that. It is not just about the organic matter.. I guess it is also about the idea that we have been responsible in creating something (ooops... someone) new, and now have...

What is fear ? What one feels when faced with a tough situation.. maybe... But more often than not, it appears to be the reaction of the people around you to the current situation..  Often, even if your heart doesn't start palpitating at double speed in a situation, if your friends or loved ones have a drastic reaction, your heart suddenly starts to flutter.. To be fair, it is difficult to look at a situation being faced with detachment or without reaction.. after all that's what family is about.... But wouldn't it be better of we don't make our fears become the other person's fears... Is it not better if each person learns for themselves ?

Life has become a conundrum of sorts... Erratic thoughts Unsettled activities  Distant dreams And hard hitting immediate realities

Most of us are alive most of the time, and honest  (read without any masks) some of the times.. This 'honest' self is often seen only by a chosen few friends/family/spouse, and sometimes to our selves.. Being honest not just means accepting one as they are, but being able to express oneself in true nature, without having to soften the emotion or blow... But what would you do when this true expression ends up violating someone else's space.. What then ? Is your being honest and expressive a sufficient explanation ? Recently watched the movie Thappad , a movie directed by Anubhav Sinha . While I could go on and on about the brilliant performance by not just Kumud Mishra , Taapsee Pannu , Ratna Pathak but by the multiple stars like Naila Grewal , Geetika Vidya Ohlyan and Dia Mirza who have each excelled in their parts in the restricted screen time of just about 10 - 20 minutes.  While Thappad might be called a feminist interpretation of what we face in our day to day lives...

Everyone is talking about Covid, the economic impact (both shot term and long term) and the life changing impact it seems to have on all of us.  Sitting safely in our homes, most of us are as far from reality as one can think. Very few have been able to articulate the situation being faced by individuals who are locked-out (not locked down) by their own states because they were working elsewhere.  Arundhati Roy, in her article in Financial Times , appropriately said,  The Covid crisis is still to come. Or not. We don’t know. If and when it does, we can be sure it will be dealt with, with all the prevailing prejudices of religion, caste and class completely in place.  And that sums up the impact of what this has done to the society at large. While most of us (read netizens) are happily talking about rejuvenation of body, mind and the soul, what we don't understand or appreciate is that we are lucky enough to be able to do so. We are the privileged ...

Cool breeze... Calming silence... Background chorus of chirping birds.... Myriad thoughts... Wandering birds... spotted for the first time... Random thoughts... Circling the mind... I know this silence must end... But I think it is not just nature which needed this reset...

Life seems to have come to a standstill.. or is it the reverse ? An external virus has now ensured that we all stay indoors, and spend more time doing things which we haven't done in the past few decades. While the initial day or two took some adjustment (!?!) to be able to spend more time with our families, ourselves, most of us have now come around the corner have started establishing a schedule around it. To think it took a virus to halt the circus, and ease out the pace... make people do things they haven't dreamt of in the past.. come to terms and appreciate what others have been doing for them, day-in day-out.... hmmm.... While I know the economy is going to suffer and there are lots of issues being faced by different parts of the society, I wonder if this standstill was required, just for us to understand what we are doing with are lives and to introspect if it is all worthwhile !!! PS:  A big salute and standing ovation to all the doctors, pol...

Change is a funny thing.. We realize that life cannot be static - that change is inevitable. Yet, when change actually hits you, you are often caught flummoxed. So how does one react when there is more than one change hitting you... as if suddenly, your mind is the only stationary thing, and all else seems to be in motion. The adjustment of the mind is probably the toughest... adjustment not to The change, but the idea that it is all changing, and will probably change into something totally new !

Every person has a purpose of life. Some recognize the purpose and try to make the most of the opportunity life has presented them with, while some simply fulfill the purpose during the course of their life, without the complete realization of having done it. But every person in our life also has a purpose and meaning, just the way we have a purpose in someone else's life... Often, we don't dwell into the reasons, but more often than not, each person ends up teaching us something about ourselves or the world or life, or maybe they are there just to give us company when we are low....  The intent is not to say that we should rubbish the people in our life, whom we deem have no purpose for us. But that, without realizing, each person has their own purpose... Not just in their own lives, but in our life too... Long story short, every person has their own journeys to chart, but they all have a role in your tiny journey too !

There is nothing as poetic and romantic as unfulfilled unrequited love... Or maybe the idea that someone is still trying to pursue someone, despite knowing that it is probably unattainable... Or is it just the chase.. I guess anything that has been attained looses its charm... Or maybe we work really hard when something is out of reach,  and eventually take it for granted when we have it...

We often say and believe, that we do things that appeal us (read our senses), and more often than not, our eyes. While I was already in disagreement with this philosophy of pleasing the eyes, being choosing partners basis appearance or judging your colleagues basis the way they dress, the latest trend is even more distasteful. Thanks to the advent of smartphones, I find that everything in life seems to revolve around how it can be captured 'beautifully' on the camera.  Don't get me wrong, I am all for photography and capture some priceless moments. But this urge of everyone to capture everything since they now have easy access to a camera on their phone has started to tick me off. This urge to click seems to be irrespective of whether it is a party or a pious moment, or just an emotional ordeal ! And due to this urge, things and moments are arranged to make them look 'more appealing' in a photograph.. without realizing that they are losing the spontane...

What would you do when you randomly decide to bunk office... not because of an urge to rest or complete some pending work... but simply to do what YOU feel like... In our races against time, to complete the chores at hand, be it home or office, we often sideline these random wishes... after all they seem to random and trivial to pay heed to... And even if we do succumb, we end up feeling guilty to have 'wasted' those precious hours on some of our whims instead completing the work at hand. But once in a while, it is important to let go off this obsession about 'constructive' utilization of time, and not measure everything under the parameter of productivity of work. We need to understand that such breaks of routine are required to keep the mind working and happy. So the next time you have an urge to watch a movie alone, or taste something haven't tasted in ages right in the middle of the day, don't try to push the urge in the background and succumb to...

Choosing a life partner is one of the toughest decision one faces. I am not undermining the other decisions one makes which have life changing impact.. but this is the one single decision which often stays with us (for better and for worse) for life. The essential difference is that, unlike in the case of parents, who choose you (and a mostly one way decision), the choice of a partner is an individual decision for which one has complete ownership...  So it is not surprising that a lot of us who linger on with the decision... wavering between indecision towards decision, till you finally call it ! What is the single most important criteria for this decision ? While the cliched answer might be compatibility, this might not be true, atleast in an Indian context, where most marriages are a conclusion of meeting and talking and not much beyond. Compatibility is probably what evolves over time, based on understanding and interpretation. So what exactly is it... Af...

Most of us are born hoarders.  We like to accumulate things, memories and thoughts.. more things, memories and more thoughts... Sometimes for that odd day where we might be left in the lurch.. sometimes for the bright day when we wish to celebrate..... or sometimes, just to relive what we've felt earlier... Whatever the excuse we might choose, the bottomline remains unchanged. So when I read this Article titles The Things One Leaves Behind by Sandip Roy , I was reminded once again how important it is to de-clutter, not just our cupboards and shelves but also our minds and bodies. We often harp so much on externalities that we miss what we actually Want and Need. So open your cupboards and minds (which are just like cupboards) , and spend sometime to get rid of what is truly unused or not needed, give it to someone who will find more utility...  Apply the same theory with the body and mind, and attempt to de-clutter, and get rid of unnecessary thoughts ...

Lets welcome the New Year with open arms.. And embrace the new things it brings with it.. there are stars you  haven't seen and loves you haven't loved there's light you haven't felt and sunrises yet to dawn there are dreams  you haven't dreamt and days you haven't lived and nights you won't forget and flowers yet to grow and there is more to you that you have yet to  know. ~ g.c.