~ Reflections ~

Some of us are wrong all the time, and all of us are wrong sometimes. But that doesn't stop us from stressing over trying to get it all right - to be perfect. Ironically, what we don't realize is that there is no perfect. One can't have it all. Love the advice given by Renuka Shahane  in one of the episodes (S02, E03) of the web-series called What the Folks  by Dice Media . Afterall, no one can have it all !!! Just let the ball drop once in a while.

Have you ever sought validation for your actions and decisions... As a child, the job is done by our parents and siblings, and they seem to be more than happy expressing their opinion. But what happens when one grows up.... Do we still seek validation as adults ? And more importantly, is it a reflection of our self confidence ? Recently, I was told that I still seek validation from some people. While I was initially taken aback by the feedback, I subconsciously knew it was an accurate observation.  Amusing as it sounds, there seem to be a bunch of us who appear confident and self assured, but who often seek validation from their people. Validation when making key decisions reinforces once belief.  But what sets apart the confident from self - doubting person is whether the absence of this hold one back from making the decision/acting in a situation ! 

What happens when we fail once..  Do we just give up or try again...  Do we start building walls and fences around us...   And if we are one of the courageous ones top finally tries again, is it ok to make the criterias more stringent, or would you just stick to your belief and trudge ahead...  Don't think there is any right or wrong in this...  No one should judge...  It should finally be each to their own... 

Most of us have had to circle doctors to cure our illnesses... This, in some cases, leads to visits to a hospital and sometimes even surgery. While it is scary to be inside an operation theatre, I realised that sitting on the outside is equally gruelling. Inside an OT, one atleast has a Doctor by their side, who is bound to look out for the welfare of the patient.... But what about the family, which is often left hyperventilating in the waiting rooms filled with others in similar situations. Those few hours of helplessness in the waiting room often have a life long impact, enough to change ones perspective about life !

So what is perfect as per you ? Who is a perfect match?  Like everything else in life, there is no since right answer. Infact, more likely than not, every person will have a different answer, a different expectation. So does that make your idea of perfect better than mine ? And what if you are not the perfect one ? Does that make you an unworthy choice ? So is it okay to fight this choice through your life ? Or is it better to make your peace, one way or another ?  This quest for the perfect is not restricted to a life partner.  In our life, most of us seem to be on this quest to create our own perfect, which at times leaves us frustrated. We often forget to look at it in a 'best case scenario' perspective, which stops us from enjoying what we do have. I am not against wanting to seek the perfect in life. But once in a while, step back...  take a pause.... look around at what you already have - people, things, situations... might not help change our idea of perfect, ...

So where do you spend your 'ME time'.  For most, the answer would be in the bathroom or driving to work. But more often than not, I find intruders in this time... people who disturb us in these rare moments of soliloquy with the mind. Am I selfish in seeking more Me time.. maybe... but this time is also essential for me to remain sane....  Is that so difficult to understand ?

What would you do if you were having sleepless nights? Though night is when sleep should finally got you, it is the middle of the night that the deepest thoughts come alive... And start talking to you... Or confuse you... So how do you make it stop and get back to sleep? Try to count stars? Count backwards from 100 to 1? What really works? Especially when your mind is suddenly buzzing!!!

The last month has seen my life changing in more than one way... all because of the welcoming of a 2+kg globule of mass that has entered our lives....    Were we looking forward to the moment - absolutely, for a while now ! Does it give a sense of elation - sure enough ! But it has also evoked lot of other emotions in the entire family, which I didn't see possible earlier.    We (read:immediate family) have become extra possessive about every moment, and action being taken. Is it a natural reaction.. must be... it's a first for all of us....  The root cause appears to be this sense of belonging of someone who was earlier a part of you. I can safely say that for myself, having harboured (is that even the right term.. or should I say anchored !) the baby in me for 8+ months. But it is more than that. It is not just about the organic matter.. I guess it is also about the idea that we have been responsible in creating something (ooops... someone) new, and now have...

What is fear ? What one feels when faced with a tough situation.. maybe... But more often than not, it appears to be the reaction of the people around you to the current situation..  Often, even if your heart doesn't start palpitating at double speed in a situation, if your friends or loved ones have a drastic reaction, your heart suddenly starts to flutter.. To be fair, it is difficult to look at a situation being faced with detachment or without reaction.. after all that's what family is about.... But wouldn't it be better of we don't make our fears become the other person's fears... Is it not better if each person learns for themselves ?

Life has become a conundrum of sorts... Erratic thoughts Unsettled activities  Distant dreams And hard hitting immediate realities