31 December, 2017

Learning from this year

Though I thought I plan my travel fairly well, I am likely to be in mid air on New Year's eve... neither at home with family nor celebrating with friends.. just mid air, peeping out of window at a horizon that always makes me wonder what this universe is truly made of.

Maybe it is an appropriate time then, to relook the year gone by, before welcoming the new year, which will hopefully be  welcome change.... pardon me if you find my thoughts more philosophical than usual... 

  1. Time might reduce the pain, but the memory remains... 
    About an year has gone by.... the wound that was fresh, has kind of reduced.. but whoever said one could heal, is all a farce... we just learn to make do with who/what we have with us to the best of our abilities.... but I don't think there is anything called healing... I probably knew all this, but seeing this again in such close quarters kind of refreshed this understanding...

  2. Distance makes the heart go stronger
    Maybe it is too early to call a conclusion on this one, but it appears that the mind adjust to the non - presence, as long as one knows that somewhere down the line, hopefully in this new year in my case, the distance will finally reduce, and things will be back to the chaotic normal.
    It might help to add that missing the other doesn't mean one is not enjoying themselves... every relationship sometimes, needs that time off from the daily chores, to make the not so regular conversations more meaningful.

  3. It is possible to stay off network/data if one wishes too
    I guess we are all so connected through the virtual world, that we often don't connect with people sitting across the table.... this whole hype about the world getting smaller and our being closer through technology is true, but that is only part of the story. We seem to totally miss out on the stories actually unfolding in front of our eyes... come to think of it, this was my issue with the idiot box, which seems to have now been replaced by its smaller version...
    So I recently attempted on plugging into to the virtual world after 8 or once I am back from work, and realized it isn't that tough... 

  4. Financial sufficiency is a state of mind
    We might slog our asses to earn our daily bread and butter and a little more.... but we often over-estimate what we truly need... what all this money is meant to achieve... We curtail expenditure on things which most if the times is probably why we started out to earn... Meetings and work become excuses to not meet with friends and family... to be part of their moments of joy and grief....
    But if you really think about it.... in the end, what will matter in not weather I drove a Beamer or an Alto, but whether I drove it when/where I wanted to... Not that I can eat in any restaurant I chose to, but whom I eat with... Whether I am remembered with a smile or a sigh... and most of it doesn't "cost" much... just some time..
Bottom-line... my resolution from this year.. to be with people who matter to me, especially when they want me to .... and do atleast 2 things that I have been wanting to do for a while... 

Hope the coming year brings the best with it for all of us...

18 December, 2017

The right reason

Marriage seems to be the most talked about thing... especially in an Indian context... It is made to feel that one's life is incomplete without being married....

All through growing up and the 20's, one is reminded about the D day and The choice... As if this one choice defines our purpose in life...

What is most astonishing is the varied explanations given for getting married... from getting married because all your friends have... to getting married to procreate..... Rarely does someone talk about the true reason one might choose... 



30 November, 2017

Truth be told

I have often, and on some days, multiple times in a single day, wondered if it is worth it to "present" the reality in a more palatable form. In our bidding to cushion the blow, or save the day, or sometimes just save ourselves from giving explanations, we invent the truth or maybe window-dress it... without realizing that it will all catch up with us.

With an already overburdened brain, one often tends to get lost in the various shades visible and forget what it really looks like, only to get a rude shock when a situation presents itself.

Though it might seem tough, and often tedious to deliver the truth, it is definitely easier in the long run, than to keep remembering what one has said so far.

If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
~ Mark Twain

18 November, 2017

The Last Mile

I will drop dead some day... hopefully it won't be long and painful (fingers crossed).. 

Can't stake claims on any great achievements, so my send off, obviously will be inline.... I know I'd be missed by my near and dear, but I don't think I'd like a long a dreary ceremony to put me to rest....

I can just be donated in parts or to some medical college in full (if my health permits)... or simply be burnt down to ashes with all that is left put in soil with a nice plant/tree on top.. it feels like a appropriate final destination... Don't seem to like the idea of flowing down the Ganges, or being washed down the Yamuna....

PS: Don't worry... I am not in a suicidal mode... this is not a death wish... this is just what I ideally want done when I finally kick the bucket...




04 November, 2017

Parenting Reversed

I think most of you grow up wanting to be good parents.. in effect, we end up parenting not just our children but our siblings, friends, family, and even our parents. Little do we realize that most of these people never signed up/needed someone to parent them.

The realization dawned when my mother pointedly mentioned that their holidays are more adventurous and fun when I am not around with them, since there is no one constantly telling her to mind her step, or second guess if she'd be able to climb the mountain.
As much as I'd like to deny this, it is probably true. Call it concern, or pure-simple role reversal, we, as children are hard-wired to keep second guessing such things about our parents.

Life does come a full circle after all....
From our parents wondering about our well being when we as children sought freedom and adventure, to a complete 180 degree, where we consider ourselves as their care taker, and they seek a new horizon.

15 October, 2017

Discussions and Decisions

We work in groups... teams...
And each person wants to add value to the discussion.. to every decision...
till there comes a point where the point is lost..
And it all seems in vain...


The more people spoke, the closer to consensus every decision came, and the less responsibility anyone had.

~ Terry Pratchett, Thief of Time

07 October, 2017

That drop when it falls...

I don't know why I started crying...
I worse still, I don't know why the tears aren't stopping... 
It's not like I've not endured worse and put up with it.. Or atop that drop from coming out of the corner of my eye....

Maybe the floodgates just got crashed, and now nothing is stopping them...
I guess it'll take its time to dry up...

But while it lasts, let it all get out...
So that nothing remains..
And everything can start afresh..

PS: Bottle up stuff, and the odds are that it'd present itself as anger or tears or both !

14 September, 2017

...

I'll not run anyone's life – nor let anyone run mine. 
I will not rule nor be ruled. 
I will not be a master nor a slave. 
I will not sacrifice myself to anyone – nor sacrifice anyone to myself. 

~ Ayn Rand
Textbook of Americanism

29 August, 2017

70 years of Independence, yet miles to go before we sleep

The recent Dera incident has made one thing very clear. Irrespective of what the underlying issue, be it Rape or simply reservation for few people, our instant reaction is violence and uncontrollable outburst. I am still unable to comprehend how any follower of the "god" men can react in such a way to support a rapist.... I wonder if even one-tenth of them with stand in arms with the one who has been raped. We are just pathetic.

But that's not the core issue.... why most of these people have such staunch die-hard followers is because in some other twisted ways, they have worked for the society... be it free hospitals or education or just basic meals. 
Don't get me wrong, I absolutely hate the guts of these people who claim to work for the society's betterment and behind curtains commit such sins.... 
But the point still remains... for someone who can't afford a square meal a day, if someone ensures clean food or proper medication or a roof to stay, the person will be given a demi-god status.

The absolute basics, roti - kapda - makaan, which the state should have ensured for each citizen by now, is still a far away dream even after 70 years of Independence. Till the state steps up and provides these essentials, there will always be someone/ some institution which misuses this weakness of the people to derive their end purpose.

22 August, 2017

Control Thy Tongue

In this age of impatience and impertinence.. where patience is treated not as a strength but as a weakness, I find myself wondering often, again and again, whether it is a good idea to spit out what is exactly on your mind, especially in a fit of rage.


But almost always, the realization dawns.. that it is... after all, better to control what comes out of our wagging tongue...  It makes perfect sense to think, and sometimes re-think what one wishes to convey.... I don't mean being secretive and not revealing anything... but the choice of words makes a world of difference...

After all, what comes out of our mouth, more often than not, comes and bites us in the ass....
Graphic Credits: Pinterest