~ Reflections ~

We ultimately want the same thing in life...  To be wanted and to have someone we want next to us in our lives.... Through the many changes in life, it is very difficult to say when or how these people keep changing, sometimes bringing back the same old people.... as if nature need one more way to tell us that what goes back comes back ! The tricks our mind plays, directly and subconsciously to be the one, is amazing... and sometimes even amusing.... 2 March 2018

Travelling in public transport makes you realize lots of things... Our faith hangs in balance of thin threads, tempting you to tug at them and then face the repercussion.... We seem observe everything around us, but accept only what suits us... We make a big deal about our privacy, but seem to be okay with attending our personal phone calls loudly in public... Even hard core feminists and so called we-are-all-equal type ladies are the first ones to jump at empty seats, despite lots of people (aged and young) having waited for the same for ages... There seems to be another side as well... like DTC bus drivers applying brakes to wait for a pregnant lady to cross a crowded road... of DMRC employees properly assisting foreigners on which places they shouldn't miss... It appears to be a shallow two faced world, which likes to be taunted and teased... bullied and berated...

I sometimes wish I could live in a silos... Just as a social experiment.. To see if I'd be able to survive.. Manage to stay away from all the people I like and care about...  wonder if we'd live life the same way if we didn't have the social security... Of people we can depend on...  All of us like to think that we are individuals, with our own thoughts, feelings and imagination... But I wonder how long we'd survive without the social net...  In fact even our 'individualistic' thoughts are almost always influenced by our social circle.... Why then, is there so much hue and cry about Individualism.... I am all for independence, but I am not convinced that it necessitates individualistic outlooks... I know all of us like to think that we are individuals, with our own thoughts, feelings and imagination... But I wonder how long we'd survive without the social net...  In fact even our 'individualistic' thoughts are almost always influ

What do you do when you want to break an existing norm, but don't want to hurt the sentiments of someone you care...  Let the person stay under the illusion that you agree with their thought ? Or make you stand clear ?  Where does one draw the line.. will the stance remain eclipsed forever... At one end, in my head, I am quite clear on what I believe.. But at the same time, I don't think I have the courage to take the stand and explain it... Clearly, to be able to pull it off, you need courage or clout !

We often plan something... build it up in our head... And one fine day, we realize, that the outcome has been very different... So were we expecting too much from life... Or is this life's way of showing us who is the boss...

Though I thought I plan my travel fairly well, I am likely to be in mid air on New Year's eve... neither at home with family nor celebrating with friends.. just mid air, peeping out of window at a horizon that always makes me wonder what this universe is truly made of. Maybe it is an appropriate time then, to relook the year gone by, before welcoming the new year, which will hopefully be  welcome change.... pardon me if you find my thoughts more philosophical than usual...  Time might reduce the pain, but the memory remains...  About an year has gone by.... the wound that was fresh, has kind of reduced.. but whoever said one could heal, is all a farce... we just learn to make do with who/what we have with us to the best of our abilities.... but I don't think there is anything called healing... I probably knew all this, but seeing this again in such close quarters kind of refreshed this understanding... Distance makes the heart go stronger Maybe it is too ea

Marriage seems to be the most talked about thing... especially in an Indian context... It is made to feel that one's life is incomplete without being married.... All through growing up and the 20's, one is reminded about the D day and The choice ... As if this one choice defines our purpose in life... What is most astonishing is the varied explanations given for getting married... from getting married because all your friends have... to getting married to procreate..... Rarely does someone talk about the true reason one might choose... 

I have often, and on some days, multiple times in a single day, wondered if it is worth it to "present" the reality in a more palatable form. In our bidding to cushion the blow, or save the day, or sometimes just save ourselves from giving explanations, we invent the truth or maybe window-dress it... without realizing that it will all catch up with us. With an already overburdened brain, one often tends to get lost in the various shades visible and forget what it really looks like, only to get a rude shock when a situation presents itself. Though it might seem tough, and often tedious to deliver the truth, it is definitely easier in the long run, than to keep remembering what one has said so far. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything. ~ Mark Twain

I will drop dead some day... hopefully it won't be long and painful (fingers crossed)..  Can't stake claims on any great achievements, so my send off, obviously will be inline....  I know I'd be missed by my near and dear, but I don't think I'd like a long a dreary ceremony to put me to rest.... I can just be donated in parts or to some medical college in full (if my health permits)... or simply be burnt down to ashes with all that is left put in soil with a nice plant/tree on top.. it feels like a appropriate final destination...  Don't seem to like the idea of flowing down the Ganges, or being washed down the Yamuna.... PS: Don't worry... I am not in a suicidal mode... this is not a death wish... this is just what I ideally want done when I finally kick the bucket...

I think most of you grow up wanting to be good parents.. in effect, we end up parenting not just our children but our siblings, friends, family, and even our parents. Little do we realize that most of these people never signed up/needed someone to parent them. The realization dawned when my mother pointedly mentioned that their holidays are more adventurous and fun when I am not around with them, since there is no one constantly telling her to mind her step, or second guess if she'd be able to climb the mountain. As much as I'd like to deny this, it is probably true. Call it concern, or pure-simple role reversal, we, as children are hard-wired to keep second guessing such things about our parents. Life does come a full circle after all.... From our parents wondering about our well being when we as children sought freedom and adventure, to a complete 180 degree, where we consider ourselves as their care taker, and they seek a new horizon.